Growing Up The Second Time

2011-01-23T01:53:00.000-08:00

On December 22 I feel like the big "C" was placed on our door.
so not fair.....

What is Your Label?

2010-09-01T03:08:00.001-07:00

so many times
in life I feel we limit ourselves by our
"labels"
for me it could be

middle child
military brat
hurdler/athlete
buyer
mother
homeschooler
wife
future empty nester
adult orphan
step monster
grand mother
blonde
athlete
on the wrong side of fourty
WTF is my label now?

Why do we let these labels define our identity?
rather than let the soul or your being in that moment
your relationship with the present
define who you are in that moment

हेल्लो

2010-08-30T03:03:00.000-07:00

An exercise in being present
what does that look like?
It's hard, shutting down your own agenda
listening,
looking into eyes
enjoying the natural surroundings

29

2010-08-29T01:32:00.000-07:00

August twenty nineth.
I feel weird about
TWENTY NINE
So my Dad passed away on
TWENTY NINE of
August
my wedding anniversary is two days later
August
THIRTY ONE
but the year my Dad passed away..
of course there was no anniversary celebration.
No big deal for me
but when my :Mom realized what we were doing on my anniversary
she said "I'm so sorry"
but what I felt was
NO
I'm so sorry (wondering what her life was going to look like now)
On to
TWENTY NINES...
My beautiful girl was born on a
TWENTY NINE
in November
and my
beautiful mother saw her last sunset,
after 40 days of rain
on a
TWENTY NINE
of March
What should I make of
29?

Changing Jobs

2010-08-20T03:07:00.000-07:00

So the time has come.
The boy has more than one foot out the door, he has his sights set on his future, and he is aiming high.
The girl has been kicked out of the nest, or gently nudged, she has grown a majestic pair of wings.
I can't wait to see what beautiful mountain they land on.

Yet when you are the Momma left in the nest you can't help but feel a little lonely
and inspired by the possibilities,
that "I can do anything" mentality
I want to say , youth is wasted on the young
but it's not.
believing ..... that is what we all need more of.

So now my challenge is what do I believe in?
What is my future?
What am I passionate about?
What feeds ME?

Because ,
you see
I have been the Momma in the nest feeding....
My most favorite job ever...
But they don't need to be spoon fed anymore

So now my second path of self discovery begins.
Wish me luck, hold my hand, and send me Kleenex.

August tenth- for Papa and Me

2010-08-11T02:10:00.000-07:00

So it's been a while internet...
Whoever is out there reading this I'm not sure.
I have not written in a while because so much has gone on that is so
PERsonal.
Coming from a family where the joke at one point was "we are very private people"
sometimes it's hard to figure out what is O.K. to share.
But looking in the rear view mirror,
as one of my loved ones said
gives you clarity,
focus,
appreciation,
and great motivation to move forward and be present and joyful.

Today is August Tenth.
My Father's birthday.
Where to begin when I think of my Father.
Unfortunately the first thing that comes to mind is the day he died.
I was with my sister, sharing with her my special rib recipe, we were going to a beach b-b-q the next day.
The phone rang she started talking , left to a private place, and came back to me, handed the phone over with a shocked look on her face and then I got the news...
I don't remember exactly what my Mom said but it was something along the lines of "your father passed away"
that was it
in such a Boston, kind of tragic way.
So why on My Father's Birthday, do I go back to this memory?

because one of my first thoughts was
I hope he saw the video,
I hope he got the VCR fixed.
For his birthday present we made him a video, showing him everything I wanted him to be proud of,
Mostly me and what I was as a woman
yet also gifts that he gave me,
an appreciation of the natural world, nature , gardening, the ocean
and at the same time, things I was lacking...
outward unconditional, crazy over the top love
Jake saying I love you Papa
even though he didn't quite know who he was
Julia trying to show her Papa her best gymnastic moves
even though she didn't quite know who he was
but she knew it was important to me
jake knew it was important to me
So when I look back at that now
I can clearly see that was me,
in Jake
and Julia
saying
Papa look at me!!
Do you love me?

ब्रेअकिंग म सिलेंस

2010-07-24T01:24:00.001-07:00

I was about to break my silence and I typed in the above Title and have accepted that the universe is telling me to go to sleep. I don't know what language that is but if someone actually sees this and can tell me something.
I would appreciate it .
good night maybe I will try again tomorrow or
there is also a good chance I will wait another six months.
You vote with your comments.

Doggie Love

2010-03-05T13:24:00.001-08:00

The Gift Of An Ordinary Day

2010-03-05T13:18:00.000-08:00

This I could not capture ,
any better..
Sniff, Sniff.

A Late Valentine

2010-02-22T16:24:00.000-08:00

because I'm always behind...
oh and add this to the "why didn't I think of this first?" pile
how many more of those will there be
before I think of it first.
Waiting......

Dooce- I get you

2010-02-05T04:02:00.000-08:00

here's a direct quote that spoke to my soul ( my very tattered and twisted soul)
from dooce.com
"It's called the We're All Going To Die Homeless And Alone Spiral. I am the valedictorian of it."

should I comment on this or be silent and not scare off my friends?

Are you there God its me, Lisa?

2010-02-05T03:38:00.000-08:00

Ok God , yeah I don't know how we're feeling about each other lately but can I say this?
I've got a bone to pick with you.
Why, why, why didn't you give me any musical ability, a voice an ear?
I would have done you proud ,
I would have thanked you at the Grammys. You know I would.
But instead you made me pray really hard,
and you blessed my children, but still.
I can't even fake it Karoke style.
What is the lesson in that?
Take your pick in this mash up, I wouldn't be picky if I could sing like
any
of
them.
If anyone out there is actually reading this other than me checking for typos...
Don't judge me for my love of POP.

Mashup 2009 par DJ Earworm - United State of Pop 2009 !!
by thony911

It's Only half past the point of oblivion...

2010-02-05T03:20:00.001-08:00

so this is becoming mostly my personal journal.
had to add this because it was.... memorable.
And it captures that awesome feeling of love , being in love and at the same time saying really, me?
Call me sugar........

Lyrics

Note To Self

2010-02-05T02:47:00.000-08:00

When you're feeling down, going to your High School's memorial page on Facebook might not be the best choice.
Or is it ?
It can fill you with gratitude or
Sadness, it's a toss up.
Like life , it's all how you frame the current reality.

you hurt I hurt

2010-01-23T00:19:00.000-08:00

Love letter to my brother at fourty one,
It hurts me to see you deal with genetics or family dynamics that were out of your control and feel like you are diminished as a human being. We are dealt a deck of cards and how you deal with it is really where the story and the strength is.. That said I am so proud of your courageous, brave, spirit; you’re dedication to your sobriety . I guess the question is, where do you go for the inner strength that was not hot wired into the family or built up over time. One thing that has been an answer for me is letting it go. Think of it like a balloon, it’s not helping you so let it go. My biggest birthday wish since we started this on my birthday, was to let it go , for you to let go, the self loathing, the constant negative reel of life’s movie that plays out in your head, the negative conversation that is always in your head. Fight that , fight that. I say this because I share that struggle and I am on the outside of your head and I see you as the great human being you are, flawed , we all are. Your flaws make you beautiful, human. Your struggle is your badge of honor. You said today I’m fighting through major depression and staying sober. That is huge, huge.
I love you for that and your willingness to be vulnerable, to surrender is an inspiration to me. So pay attention to the gifts that are in small and big moments, I have learned from this experience with you. First of all we were there for each other at a very precise moment. That seems like it was meant to be, and I am mindful of the lessons . Because we share the same upbringing, and often the same challenges this is an opportunity to check in with myself and your struggles make me reflective of how am I doing in my own journey. So thank you for that.
I see you as a man who is fighting for the best life , a real and genuine life.
There are many , many people who just give up on that quest for the most genuine life. My wish for you is that you will find that, you deserve it you’ve worked so hard for it . Believe , believe. Lastly know that you are a gift to other people, you have helped many people so don’t be afraid to ask for help. Honesty, Integrity, Authenticity, these are qualities that come to mind when I think of you. Even now and especially during this time of extreme struggle.
So hold on-- I believe in you and a better future.
You deserve it.
Don’t ever question your worth.
I love you deeply in this time of struggle and always.

Lucky We Live Hawaii

2010-01-05T23:12:00.000-08:00

There's a saying around here "Lucky We Live Hawaii"
It's meant to sum up the whole experience.
I wanted to share some of my favorite pictures from the last year that sum up the Hawaii lifestyle for me...
Girl by the sea, on the North Shore watching the turtles.

One of my favorite sunsets at the Temple Of The Holy Elks.

Care for the turtles.

SHAVE ICE!!!!

The Boy and Fire Poi

More tomorrow.

Math For a New Decade

2010-01-05T20:39:00.000-08:00

Here's a math question for you:
What is the sum of
Pulled Hamsting+ Two Bouts of The Flu+Husband Changing Jobs+Moving+Other Assorted Illnesses+Stitches Rendering One Hand Useless
No the answer is not A WHOLE LOT OF EXCUSES!!!
The answer is
TEN POUNDS
further complicated by no fat clothes!!!

Hopefully P90x +Running= -15lbs!!!1

Public Service Announcement

2010-01-05T20:29:00.000-08:00

I made a mistake in movie selection recently that I'd like to share with you so you don't do the same.
I thought Robin Williams' movie World's Greatest Dad was Old Dogs.
The two are very different, World's Greatest Dad was pretty shocking in the first 20 minutes especially for a Robin Williams movie.
It had my husband and I rewinding to see if they said what we thought they said, It's one of those movies where you keep watching trying to see ultimatley what the point is . In the end it was disappointing. Hopefully Old Dogs will be better.

The Best Of Christmas Lights

2009-12-24T13:49:00.000-08:00

You don't even have to get in your car I've done all the work for you. Although watching these videos makes me want to find a display like this in my town. If I find one I'll let you know.
If you haven't seen enough when you're done looking at my posts check out

Link
http://www.planetchristmas.com/ShowingOff2009.html

Christmas Lights

2009-12-24T13:43:00.000-08:00

All I Want For Christmas Is Light-O-Rama

2009-12-24T13:36:00.000-08:00

Do you think Liight-o-Rama goes on sale after Christmas?

Merry Christmas

2009-12-24T13:30:00.000-08:00

What do the neighbors do? Walk around the house with ear plugs or dance around the house with glow sticks?

Is This In Your Neighborhood?

2009-12-18T01:49:00.000-08:00

Because Christmas is The New Thanksgiving???

2009-12-18T01:12:00.000-08:00

I'm a slacker, always behind, or moving at my own pace .
Here's a little taste of our Thanksgiving.
The pictures are taken by the girl with her new fancy camera.

First The Preparation:::

Helping Teenagers!!!!!

Job Well Done

Table Ready

TURKEY!!

Is It Ready Yet???

Worth The Wait!!!

Room For Improvement

2009-12-18T00:57:00.000-08:00

things that didn't work so well this week....
trying to type with four fingers,
attempting to take out stitches myself,
oush not ready yer

(see above about typing with a handicap, that was meant to be... ouch not ready yet)

substituting for 12 second graders one day before christmas break,
trying to figure out what to do when 12 second graders all have to go to the bathroom at the same time,
and they are all SO THIRSTY at the same time,
and they are wielding scissors.
I think I might have a claim for post traumatic stress disorder ( not to make light of those that really suffer from that, I'm purely going for humor here)

and last but not least my desire to work on my agoraphobia and social anxiety...
I think the 2nd graders set me back a few years.
but don't get me wrong they are all sooo cute, I just have no classroom management skills.

Mom?

2009-12-08T01:43:00.000-08:00

being a stay at home mom can be a thankless job
there's kids,
there's dogs
there's husbands
there's husbands that don't like dogs
there's homeschooling
there's teenage hormones
there's adult hormones
there's dishes
laundry
driving
cooking
vacumming dog hair
dishes
driving
cooking
vacuming
it' s so not the glamorous life ,
cooking laundry
man when did i sign up for this
why didn't i take the make money to pay people to do this path
especially when the dishes aren't done and that is what is noticed
not the previous month's gourmet meals
and I'm not the perfect gilmore gils mom who crawls in bed at the precise moment of birth to say i love you
and i'm not the mom that makes the perfect breakfast and smiles in the morning
I try hard
it's hard
and I only have a few years left
pray for me
I'm sure I'll be writing about how much I miss these times soon.

Eddie Can You Hear Me???

2009-12-08T00:49:00.000-08:00

There's some serious surf in Hawaii right now . Tomorrow there's a possibility of 50 foot waves or local style 25 foot faces.
Which means if this happens and it's clean THE EDDIE IS ON!! First time since 2004.
Who is Eddie Aikau you ask?

Here's his story from his foundation web page:
Edward Ryon Makuahanai "Eddie" Aikau (May 4, 1946 – March 17, 1978) is one of the most respected names in surfing. He was the first lifeguard at Waimea Bay on the island of Oahu. He saved many lives and became well known as a big-wave surfer. "Eddie" was a true symbol of Aloha.

Born on the island of Maui, Aikau later moved to O'ahu with his family in 1959. In 1968, he became the first lifeguard hired by the City & County of Honolulu to work on the North Shore. Not one life was lost while he served as lifeguard at Waimea Bay. Eddie braved surf that often reached 20 feet high or more to make a rescue. He became very famous for surfing the bigHawaiian surf and won several surfing awards including First Place at the prestigious 1977 Duke Kahanamoku Invitational Surfing Championship. The local saying, "Eddie Would Go," refers to his stoke to take on big waves that other surfers would shy away from and his courage to make a rescue in impossible situations.

"Eddie" became involved in perpetuating his Hawaiian heritage. In 1976, the Polynesian Voyaging Society sailed the Hokule'a on a successful 30-day, 2500 mile journey following the ancient route of the Polynesian migration between the Hawaiian and Tahitian islands. In 1978, a second voyage of the traditional sailing canoe was planned. At 31 years of age, Aikau was selected for this voyage as a crew member. The Hokule'a left the Hawaiian Islands on March 16, 1978. The double-hulled voyaging canoe developed a leak in one of the hulls and later capsized in stormy weather about twelve miles south of the island of Molokai. In an attempt to get to land to save his crew and the Hokule'a, Aikau paddled toward Lanai on his surfboard. Hours later a commercial airplane spotted the Hokule'a and the rest of the crew was soon rescued by the U.S. Coast Guard. Aikau was missing at sea. Despite great search efforts "Eddie" was never seen again.

And to honor this legend on the North shore the Eddie Aikau Invitational was born.
The way it works is surfers are invited from around the world- there is a holding perioid of several weeks. If the conditions are right you are notified and you have 24 hours to arrive.
Here's more:
The surf has to be in the right condition for the Quiksilver in Memory of Eddie Aikau invitational contest to be held at Waimea Bay. Organized every winter, the tournament has rarely been held because surf at Waimea Bay hasn't met its requirements: ridable 20-plus-foot waves measured Hawaiian-style — from the back of the wave — or about 40 feet from peak to trough. The meet was last held Dec. 15, 2004.

George Downing, contest director of the Eddie Aikau invitational, said there was a 50% chance of running the event Monday and an 80% chance Tuesday.

Peter Cole, a member of the grass-roots Surfrider Foundation, said he doesn't think there will be waves as massive as in 1969.

"I've been studying the charts, and my gut feeling is they'll be big, but not like the '69 surf," Cole said. "That was legitimate 50-foot surf."

The monster waves are powered by two storms north by northwest of Hawaii that will produce high surf through Wednesday, according to the National Weather Service.

The swell that is predicted is something that has not been seen since 1969.
The island of Oahu is buzzing...
Eddie can you hear me??????

Here's video of the winning wave from Bruce Irons the last time the Eddie was held:

Waiting for text message alert.......
Oh but tomorrow is an epic day in many Ways .
It's the boy's sweet sixteen......

TWO WORDS

2009-12-08T00:35:00.003-08:00

Two Words Come To Mind after viewing this photo of our new family member:
BABY DOLL

We are so happy.
Words of advice:
smell her,
love her,
stare at her,
FORGET ABOUT THE HOUSE,
hold her,
treasure these special although often scary moments,
be present- that is the best gift a new baby gives you.
smell her,
love her,
repeat.

The Girl Effect

2009-12-01T21:23:00.000-08:00

A Very Sad Day

2009-12-01T17:23:00.000-08:00

From the New York Times:
Owning the War | 8:10 p.m. President Obama began with an explanation. And in seven simple words, he laid out why he had decided to escalate the war in Afghanistan, declaring: “We did not ask for this fight.”

With those words, Mr. Obama formally assumed ownership of the war that began eight years ago. With those words, the commander-in-chief began his attempt to explain to a war-weary nation why it is necessary, once again, to send more troops to Afghanistan.

“Afghanistan is not lost,” Mr. Obama said, “but for several years it has moved backwards.”

The president is standing against a backdrop of flags, speaking to a large audience of cadets. Before he outlined the strategy, he explained why his review of Afghanistan took more than 90 days, saying: “I owe you a mission that is clearly defined and worthy of your service.”

“I do not make this decision lightly,” he added.

I had hope that it would be different.
I'm sad because we live in Hawaii where there are many service men and women, my children have been witness to the profound impact a deployed family member has on a family, a community. They are brave and selfless that is for sure. When I heard the news of 30,000 more service members deployed within the new year it hurt me. I can't imagine how it would feel to have your Dad or Mom deployed for the second , third , fourth time.
My Dad was deployed to Vietnam when I was three and my Mom was pregnant with my brother. It forever changed her, and therefore me and our family.
My heart aches knowing how much that is happening in our country right now with no end in sight.

Here is why:

Arlington Cemetary
Need I Say More?
Both of my parents are here.
They earned it.

Cure For a Bad Mood

2009-11-30T22:08:00.000-08:00

Because Thanksgiving Is The New Halloween

2009-11-24T22:00:00.000-08:00

I'm thinking about Labor Day
The stores are ready for Halloween
I'm thinking about Halloween
The stores are ready for Thanksgiving
I'm thinking about Thanksgiving
The stores are so totally about Christmas.

Based on that logic isn't it appropriate I post Halloween pictures when it is almost Thanksgiving?
Enjoy and Happy Halloween , I mean Thanksgiving.

25 years of oprah introductions

2009-11-24T21:54:00.000-08:00

Funny thing is she did NOT introduce Sarah Palin this way.

25 Years of Oprah Screaming Celebrity Names - watch more funny videos

running on empty, life in the 3G world

2009-11-23T22:27:00.000-08:00

I have a crazy game I play with myself.
I like to see if i can calculate to the very last mile,
how far I can go without getting gas
of course you see where this is going right?
But when the get gas light goes on, and then off ,
I say- hey no need to get gas
No matter how far below the EEE the indicator is.
Oh and when you are driving home and there is not gas on your route all the more reason to roll the dice.
and when a good part of your ride home is down hill
no problem right?
Except when you run out of gas just when the road is going uphill.
I'm so lucky to have good friends who are willing to bring me gas while my family is not seeing the humor in my gas roulette game.
I'm an island girl now , no need for stress.
So while we waited for gas I made use of my "my touch"
here's a little of what i did...
First I went to ALOQA , and saw that there were 10 gas stations very close by one only 1000 yards away, I was willing to walk there but nobody wanted me to.
also there were 4 starbucks locations , I was willing to get everyone coffee , but no.
I also checked out upcoming entertainment possibilites Gabriel Iglesias:
value="http://www.youtube.com/v/MI8v5UJLD5I&hl=en_US&fs=1&">

NOTE TO SELF: MUST BUY TICKETS AND GET GAS

i checked out nearby bars just in case I had to make a run for it and get away from my pissed off family
I tweeted,
href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/35008532@N08/4130478860/" title="Picture 2 by growingupx2, on Flickr">
I facebooked

My saviour of a friend brought gas,
rather than fight with the hubs about how to start a car , with fuel injection after it is parched I googled it

It was not working so my friend , "phoned a friend" her sister who had been in this situation before.
Her advice was to rock the car because we had to get the ittly bitty bit of gas into the system so here we are,
my friend jumping up and down on the bumper, me rocking it side to side .
Still no luck, but we were lauging our AO!
The boy suggested we roll the car down the hill because we were on an incline
We did
and it worked.
Got to love the boy
and the friend
and the family for putting up with my game of
GAS ROULETTE!

Just Dance- It Will Be OK

2009-11-19T21:37:00.000-08:00

Here is what I really want to do when I "grow up for the second time"
If I ever do
Grow up again that is....
Any sponsors?

Elf Yourself- It's that time of year again

2009-11-14T14:22:00.000-08:00

The Picture Says it All

2009-11-13T16:52:00.000-08:00

The girl is working on mastering the art of the self portrait, 3008 style.
Digital camera , frequently while we're driving somewhere.
It's good for the wind blown hair effect.

Her photogenic genes do not come from me.
I have problems keeping my eyes open when someone says cheese.
I've been know to eat pizza with my eyes closed that's how bad it is.

Taking pictures while in the car is also good for singing your favorite song just to get you in that rock star mood.

Photo booth on your Mac works well too, if your not in the car or your camera needs charging.

Here's her favorite look of late she calls it nerdy. She's a girl with many sides.

Here's what happens when I'm on the other side of the camera. Now that's not fair is it?

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Here's her wild side..."I'll eat you up."

Now this picture is priceless.. If you know the girl that is.

Here we are trying to figure it all out she's complicated,
But in the words of the monsters from "Where The Wild Things Are" I'm sure when it's time I'll say:
"Please don't go I'll eat you up, I love you so."

The Show Is About To ....Go On

2009-11-12T20:28:00.000-08:00

Remember when I wrote about the boy and the girls audtion songs.?
Well the show, Cabaret Paradis,is opening next weekend. They both have challenging solos.
Can't wait to see it.
Here's what the boy is singing:

Here's what the girl is singing:

Dream of Swimming With Dolphins? We Don't Dream, We DO

2009-11-12T14:11:00.000-08:00

The boy swimming with dolphins.
It doesn't suck,
Living in Hawaii.

Oh and by the way if you want to come to Hawaii in December our villa in Ko'Olina is not rented yet;)

So That's Why I Spend So Much Time On My Laptop - I'm Preparing For The Future

2009-10-27T21:18:00.001-07:00

ch- ch- CHANGES

2009-10-21T01:01:00.000-07:00

Why does life have to hurt so much sometimes?
or maybe it's just me
there is that pain that is just below the surface that has to poke it's pesky head up every now and then
it's ugly
it says you're not worthy
you're useless
what are you doing?
on your hands and knees washing the floor is that what you went to college for?
teenagers that say
Mom,
Really?
Now, what is now?
What is my role in now?
I fell in love with them on first glance,
it was my pleasure to nurture, guide, feed, transport, teach, comfort, encourage.
Changing roles
how do we negotiate that?
I want the boy and the girl to
WANT to come home
not run away and never come back
when they leave for
ahem
College.
I like them
I birthed them
and
most importantly,
I want them to get something out
of this parental relationship,
I want them to think in their most challenging moments,
I need to talk to
Mom
or Dad
I need some good advice.
That is the standard I hold myself to,
and I really don't want to fail.

Have I Mentioned How Much I Love Babies?

2009-10-18T22:15:00.001-07:00

I'm going to be a Grand Mere and I am so excited, I love babies and can't wait to meet this one .
We're all excited, especially the girl, who can't stop thinking about the clothes.
She is taking her opportunity to introduce the new baby girl to the world of fashion and all girlish things very seriously.

Kiss the baby.

First Day of School Ever!

2009-09-30T20:09:00.001-07:00

The only people that wear ties on a daily basis in Hawaii are:
Lawyers, Politicians, Mormon missionaries and
My Men.
Here they are on the boy's first full day of school ever:

A Little Grey's (Fan) Anatomy

2009-09-16T02:49:00.000-07:00

so this is the first five minutes of the Grey's Anatomy season opener.
I was needing a Grey's fix so I watched.
It's up to you.
But when I watched it the first time I had full body chicken skin ( goose bumps)
so there.

comments?

drama is our life

2009-09-16T02:00:00.000-07:00

as much as I try to live in a drama free zone,
drama is our life.
#1 reason is because the boy and the girl are into musical theatre and all things
performing
but as Madonna said, most performers are shy
and that brings me to the audition
they have tomorrow.
school
audition
swimming
packing
leaving on a jet plane (don't even think about it we have a house sitter, two furr oucios dogs and a friend with a Mastiff)
and the girl can't
decide what she wants to sing
and she has to be prepared with sheet music
222
mar
ooooooo
that is a recipe for crazy
for the whole house
oh no
the whole neighborhood,
no
the whole ISLAND
I don't like to fly so...
from the Moment I wake up just before I put on my make up
say a little prayer for you (ME)
forever, forever you'll stay in my heart
because I love you
(sorry having a little Dermot Mulroney moment)
I'm missing having a gay boyfriend like that about now, someone that can appreciate the DRAMA
and make me laugh about it instead of stress.
and then there is a wedding , the youngest bonus child getting married.
ahh weddings ,that's where I met my husband , and he was with a date.
hopefully that won't come back to haunt me.
Oh and I'm going to be a (bonus) grand mere.
Yay.
Lots going on here
Pray for us.
and here are the choices for the girls audition.
vote if you choose.

or this:

or this:

I'm voting for the last one.
The boy is singing this:

Ever See 21,000 People Dance to the Same Song?

2009-09-10T18:46:00.000-07:00

It sure doesn't suck to be Oprah or Fergie.

Let me explain, Oprah tweeted about this and since I'm one of her ...
ahem... Tweeple I, of course clicked on the link to see this massive dance staged for one of the new episode of Oprah. I wanted to post the original, good quality video of it but you know copgright and all. So off to You Tube I Went and found this from someone filming from a building overlooling the venue.
Check out the original on oprah.com if you are a black eyed peas fan or just want to be a voyeur to what must have been a BLAST! I actually direct twittered Oprah, It doesn't suck to be you does it? and , Why wasn't I invited I missed most of a Black Eyed Peas concert in Honolulu, due to a huge traffic jam....sniff....snifff.

Here's a link for a better view.
http://www.oprah.com/article/oprahshow/20090908-tows-flash-mob-dance

I Love Ellen and So You Think You Can Dance

2009-09-08T23:11:00.000-07:00

A new season of So You Think You Can Dance starts tomorrow night!!!!

Deal With It

2009-09-04T01:43:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Mark for great information, and inspiration, for me to be bold.

Most of my readers ( yes there is an "s" to that) know what they're getting themselves into. As a homeschool MOM ( I deserve that capitalization) , my kids often come to me when they are working on their own and ask...
Do I really have to do this?
It's stupid
or I already get it can't I explain it to you?
or how will I ever use this?

what do you think? should teachers be subjected to this type of inquisition?
don't get me wrong I love teachers.
NEVER would I attempt to take on 20 kids , with different learning styles, and..... the list goes on.
Teachers, especially the ones that are not compensated so well, thank you!!!
wait all teachers,
thank you!!!
As a homeschool mom I celebrate what you do, it's hard for me with 2, TWO,
students, we share something though. Our love of learning and our deep concern for the next generation, equipping them, making sure they are stewards of ...All. Maybe that's too ambitious but you get the point

Why would we want to tie kids down when they can discover,reinvent, teach, connect, self instruct (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autodidacticism love that word).....and on and on..
The answer is , we as non-digital-natives can't always wrap our mind around that reality.
The point being, who knows what is going to be relevant for our kids in the next 5,10, 15 years?
If they can make a good argument , I listen, and evaluate and then we decide if it's worth the time.

Watch this:
the old school days are just that.
And think about it
OLD
and
SCHOOL
what feelings does that conjure up?

On a "you're awfully ambitious" note

2009-09-03T01:56:00.000-07:00

supper club
Theme
Top Chef Recipes
do you know how long it took me to cull through the recipes and find something (s) that , for me, were do able?
probably longer than it will take me to
cook
shop
clean
host
etc.....
but good food will be had by all
and if all else fails
there will be wine.
The menu:
Asparagus Salad With Wild Mushrooms, Arugula and Bacon Vinaigrette
Coconut and Oat Custard Shrimp, Nectarine Salsa and Avacado Creme Freiche
Roasted Rack of Lamb With Toasted Cumin and Coriander Seed.

Wish me luck
That's Awfully Ambitious!!!!

I Should Be Crying But I Just Can't Let It Show Baby

2009-09-03T01:44:00.000-07:00

when a friend told me how much this performance affected her emotionally and that she thought of me
I said, "oh I've already cried all those tears."
I was lying.
The tears are always
right
around
the corner.
All The Things We Should've Said That I Never Said,
Make it go away.

Pray God You Can Cope
I'll Stand Outside
This Woman's Work
This Woman's Worth
Ooh, It's Hard On A Man
Now His Part Is Over
Now Starts The Craft... Of The Father

[Bridge]
I Know You've Got A Litte Life In You Yet
I Know You've Got A Lot Of Strength Left
I Know You've Got A Little Life In You Yet
I Know You've Got A Lot Of Strength Left

[Course]
I Should Be Crying But I Just Can't Let It Show,
I Should Hoping But I Can't Thinking,
All The Things We Should've Said That I Never Said,
All The Things We Should Have Done That We Never Did,
All The Things We Should've Given But I Didn't,
Oh Darling Make It Go,
Make It Go Away...

Give Me These Moments,
Give Them Back To Me,
Give Me A Little Kiss,
Give Me Your...

(I Know You've Got A Little Life In You Yet)
Give Me Your Hand Baby,
(I Know You've Got A Lot Of Strength Left)
Give Me Your Pretty Hand,
(I Know You've Got A Little Life In You Yet)
Ooh My,
(I Know You've Got Alot Of Strength Left)
Your Love Child,
(I Know You've Got A Little Life In You Yet)
Whatever You Need,
(I Know You've Got A Lot Of Strength Left)
Give Me Your Hand,
(I Know You've Got A Little Life In You Yet)
Give Me Your Hand Babe
(I Know You've Got A Lot Of Strength Left)

I Should Be Crying But I Just Can't Let It Show Baby,
I Should Hoping But I Can't Thinking,
Of All The Things We Should've Said That We Never Said,
All The Things We Should Have Done That We Never Did,
All The Things That You Wanted From Me,
All The Things That You Needed From Me,
All The Things We Should Have Given But I Didn't,
Oh Darling Make It Go Away Now,
Just Make It Go Away..

That's Awfully Ambitious of You

2009-09-03T01:33:00.000-07:00

"That's awfully ambitious of you."
That is a phrase my Mother became fond of in my early married life.
you're catering your own baptism party x2?
that's awfully ambitious of you
you're running a home business with a baby?
that's awfully ambiitous of you
you're going camping with a six month old?
that's awfully ambitious of you
you're homeschooling,when you're husband is an educator?
that's awfully ambitious of you.
I know this sounds very snarky,
My Mother taught me a lot about working hard when you know it's the right thing.
In the end it served her very well,
and I say this with love.
Caring for your Mom with inflammatory breast cancer,
That's very ambitous.
See Mom,
it was all worth it.

ghetto luxury bathroom

2009-09-03T01:17:00.000-07:00

we're always happy to create
less is more
or the husband grew up in a really
large catholic family
here's our version of luxury master suite
I like to watch episodes of
Gilmore
Girls
in the tub
on the laptop
laptop on the toilet cover
WORD

allireallywantisforyoutofeelme

2009-09-03T00:48:00.000-07:00

oh and the title , I'm not drunk, Firefox on blogger is changing what I type to
Farsi? Sanskrit? the moment I type a space it becomes an entertaining game of cat and mouse or firefox vs. safari or PC vs. MAC , or the girl needs to return my computer already, or forget it we're both TOO hormonal for THAT or it really does make a nice sobriety test.
enough about me.

this clip is all about what I'm longing for, what moves me
beautiful music
creative expression
physical fitness
acknowledgment
beauty
music
the perfect words
haunting melodies

oh and last but not least Jason Mraz's musical talent
put that on the top of the list

About Anniversaries Happy and Sad

2009-09-01T00:13:00.000-07:00

Two big anniversaries in our house recently.....
Saturday was the anniversary of my Father's death, which was more than surreal for me as I watched the funeral of Ted Kennedy. My parents were both from Boston came from immigrant families, Irish Catholic. To them and to me the Kennedy's were definitely American royalty. So on the anniversary of my Father's death to see Ted Kennedy laid to rest at Arlington Cemetary , where both my parents are together, in the same plot, somehow felt like a full circle moment. I imagine them , with Irish Eyes Smiling at the good company, up in heaven.
How about these Irish Eyes? They are smiling on my wedding day.

And today,
Eighteen years ago I married my husband . At the end of the ceremony we left on a sailboat, out to sea on the adventure that is our married life. The best decision I ever made.

What Price To Be A Good Neighbor?

2009-08-29T00:42:00.000-07:00

I need help. We are living in a new neighborhood and I really want to have good relationships with our neighbors. They ahem, might not share that sentiment.
Let me paint the picture.
One of the first days we were here the husband parked his car in a space that made it difficult for the across the street neighbors to get out of the garage. Our bad for sure, but instead of introducing themselves and politely asking if we could move the car, uhmm they sere not so polite in telling us why the car did not belong there.

Moving along, these neighbors also run a dog sitting business that is pretty much illegal. Their idea of walking dogs is letting the small ones, chihuahua, out their gate onto our front yard were they are none too happy to take a dump on our front yard. At first I thought; "oh no the dogs got out I should go let the owners know." WRONG! day after day they let them out knowing they run across the street and , you know . So now I'm faced with some choices. Lure those little punk dogs into my house with meat and if the owners come looking for them act confused, because after all they were pooping on my yard every day so surely they belonged to me. Pick said dogs up and stuff them in all the mail boxes on the cul de sac or get our the air soft gun.
I really am an animal lover but for real???

Oh and that's not all - the neighbor on the side of us also lets their dog out to run free down our adjacent slope and poop in our back yard. WTF? can somebody help me understand this , and give me some suggestions? Right now I'm considering collecting poop and knocking on the neighbors doors, and saying "oh, this belongs to you."
what do you think?
If you have any suggestions leave them in the comments section you don't have to sign in you can do it anonymously.
Oh and I live in Canada.

Ted Kennedy Rest In Peace

2009-08-26T12:20:00.000-07:00

Light a candle in your window tonight to memorialize an amazing public servant.

This is the cause of my life. It is a key reason that I defied my illness last summer to speak at the Democratic convention in Denver—to support Barack Obama, but also to make sure, as I said, "that we will break the old gridlock and guarantee that every American...will have decent, quality health care as a fundamental right and not just a privilege." For four decades I have carried this cause—from the floor of the United States Senate to every part of this country. It has never been merely a question of policy; it goes to the heart of my belief in a just society. Now the issue has more meaning for me—and more urgency—than ever before. But it's always been deeply personal, because the importance of health care has been a recurrent lesson throughout most of my 77 years.

— Ted Kennedy

Show THIS To Your Teen!!

2009-08-17T19:01:00.000-07:00

Not that teens are the only ones that text and drive.... and to think that Hawaii was unable to pass a no texting while driving law?

Fire Poi

2009-08-14T18:33:00.000-07:00

If someone were to tell me 15 years ago that I would LET my son PLAY WITH FIRE I would have told them to lay off the crack.
Never say never .
It's hard to fight the influence the island has had on the boy.
Here's some great pictures Mike took of him doing a fire poi show.
Check out Mike's website at colelleaphoto.com

RIP John Hughes

2009-08-07T18:43:00.000-07:00

If you were a teen in the eighties this will bring back memories!!!
Complete with my favorite quote from Ferris Bueller:
"Life goes by pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while.....You could miss it."

"

Friends

2009-08-07T14:56:00.000-07:00

I'm lucky I have some really great, caring, there for you in good times and bad, friends.
I've been wanting to write about two in particular who recently visited us from the East Coast.
Mike and Soozie.
Here they are:

Don't they look happy? They just mastered the stand up paddle board
And
They're in Hawaii, who wouldn't be happy?

Back to the friend part. These are real , in the realest sense of real, friends.
They were our neighbors in Maryland in the first house my husband and I bought together.
Mike photographed our wedding.
After I had the boy and the girl I came home to balloons and a home cooked meal courtesy of Mike and Soozie.
They treat my kids like they are their kids.
When the boy was little his favorite activity was going over to Mike's pond with earth worms to feed his Koi .
He would just walk into their backyard like it was his own and it was no problem for Mike and Soozie.
We use to share Christmas Eve cocktails late at night and when they smelled the garlic wafitng from my kitchen they knew it was an invitation to dinner.
And now it gets really serious....
Mike and his daughter drove our U-Haul van across the country from Maryland to California.
Yes you read that right DROVE A U_HAUL VAN ACROSS THE COUNTRY!!!!
That was a serious lapse in judgement on Mike's part but we LOVE HIM for it.
They photographed our older daughters wedding, beautiful , beautiful pictures with a personal touch that can only be added by someone who knows the people getting married.
When I told Mike that my kids were going to the Lego Robotics World Festival, he called and volunteered to be a photographer.
I was at the festival taking pictures and someone said, "shouldn't you let a professional take that picture?"
I turned around and there was Mike , surprising us .
In the closing ceremonies for the festival the boy and the girl's face were plastered up on the jumbotron for all to see, because Mike was one of the official photographers.
When I called to tell them about the surprise birthday party I was having for the hubs, they said, "we'll be there."
Get this, they flew from Maryland to Hawaii for the WEEKEND to be at that party.
They like to do stuff like that,
incredibly kind things because in this day and age it's shocking, to find such kindness.
Today when so many people don't even know their neighbors, we were so lucky to end up next door to Mike and Soozie.
Mike and Soozie you're the best, we love you and treasure your friendship all these years.
And now some pictures from their visit:

shave ice of course!!!!

He's got wasabi coming out of his ears, lots of ahi sashimi was consumed.

Sunset beach warning signs. In the winter this is where the 20 foot + waves can be found. In the summer it's glassy

No trip to the North Shore is complete without a trip to Ted's bakery

Honu basking in the sun, bliss.

Gilmore Girls

2009-08-07T13:58:00.000-07:00

best moment in season one of Gilmore Girls.
A thousand yellow daisies.
The girl loves it (me too) .

Julie and Julia

2009-08-07T04:38:00.000-07:00

WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THIS?????
IT'S ME.
loved the movie made me cry,
a big dream I didn't know I had, until this movie.
Must figure it out.
I have the cookbooks ,
I watched Julia Child,
I cook,
I like to eat,
I blog.

what makes you cry?

2009-08-07T04:27:00.001-07:00

Standing ovations always make me cry.
Friends and family standing up
for you, strangers,
applauding.

The Mormons Want To Suck Your Blood

2009-08-01T14:59:00.000-07:00

some sights from my run:

The mormons want your blood:

These people are tired of being dumped on:

but it comes with a price the sign should say no dumping or pilfering

While we're talking about pilfering,
People are serious about their mangoes here:

And finally,
this sign at the top of a long hill.

I see it and it says Pain In You!!!

Dissolving Bikini

2009-07-31T14:51:00.000-07:00

I happen to know someone who could use one of these.
A German company has created what is being called the ultimate revenge gift.
A bikini that dissolves after a few seconds in the water .

Weight Loss Secret

2009-07-31T11:52:00.000-07:00

Are you ready?
Here's my weight loss secret.....
When the excuses start roaming around my head about why I shouldn't , or don't need to run.
I weigh myself.
Yup, that wakes me right the hell up.
Off to run.

Life is Good

2009-07-31T04:00:00.000-07:00

sometimes
it just
doesn't get better than this:

Bra Tooth

2009-07-30T21:26:00.000-07:00

Hawaii now has a hands free while driving law.
My bluetooth won't sync with my ghetto phone so now we have:

Bra Tooth!!!!!
(The girl would like credit for naming it)

Losing my religon or was it hearing?

2009-07-30T19:11:00.001-07:00

Name that tune or Heart ache breeds musical talent

2009-07-25T01:57:00.000-07:00

The boys heart is hurting so
therefore so is mine
we're music people so that's how we,
forgive me for being a little dramatic,
grieve.
He's playing alot of sad songs.
It makes me want to make it better but I can't.
I remember all to well
that heart ache.
I feel for him in my core
It's his midnight piano session........
here's the playlist...

"Gravity"
something always brings me back to you
it never takes too long
no matter what I say or do
I still see you here till the moment I'm gone
You hold me without touch you keep me without chains
I never wanted anything so much
Than to drown in your love and not feel your rain

"Mom let's play some name that tune""

"what song?", he asks.
You sit there in your heartache
Waiting on some beautiful boy to
save you from your old ways
You play forgiveness
Watch it now ... here he comes!

He doesn't look a thing like Jesus
But he talks like a gentleman
Like you imagined when you were young

Can we climb this mountain
I don't know
Higher now than ever before
I know we can make it if we take it slow
Let's take it easy
Easy now, watch it go

Killers,
"When you were young"
I say.
Next..
Nobody ever had a dream round here,
but I don't really mind and/that it's starting to get to me
Nobody ever pulls the seams round here,
but I don't really mind and/that it's starting to get to me

I've got this energy beneath my feet
like something underground's gonna come up and carry me,
I've got this sentimental heart that beats
but I don't really mind (and) it's starting to get to me

Now.."Why do you waste my time?"
Is the answer to the question on your mind
And I'm sick of all my judges
so scared of what they'll find
But I know that I can make it
As long as somebody takes me home,
every now and then...
Killers
"Samstown."
Next.....
All around are me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
And their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrows
No tomorrow, no tomorrow.
Tears for Fears
"Mad world "
next..

In the light of the sun, is there anyone? Oh it has begun...
Oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed,
This world you must've crossed... you said...

You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,
She said
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains... oh yeah,

I'm stumped!!!!

Boston
"Augustina"......
The game is done at least for tonight.
Sweet dreams my baby boy.

Have you missed me????

2009-07-21T21:48:00.000-07:00

Moving is a bitch YO!
Doesn't it seem redundant to wrap and pack things, drive fourty minutes and unpack the same things?
Last time we moved I had a good month while everything was on a boat before I had to face all the junk I just shipped across an ocean to an island. I had time to miss my junk.
Now I open a box and go ughhhh not you again.
Here's a short discussion about stuff for your viewing pleasure...

Plus we moved into a model home with all it's perfectness.
I have a hard time tarnishing it and getting rid of the
pretty- but -just- for- decoration -towels- with- the- rafia- bow- that- are- hot- glued -together- so they can never end up on the floor.

How perfect is that?

And the perfect closet with built in everything.
Must get wood hangers to keep that look up.
And perfect closets don't have that flower girl dress of your daughters you can't get rid of
Yeah it kind of sticks out like a sore thumb.
And our garage is not so perfect but that's what garages are for especially in Hawaii where homes are smaller, no basement so where else do you put your junk, I mean Christmas decorations.
The first floor of our house looks pretty perfect.
Oh and we bought a penis couch,

Of course it took the boy to point that out to us.
My retort- "You've seen too many R movies lately" (that's a whole other post about how I earned my parent of the year award)
His retort- "hey I happen to have one"

I'm on Craigslist

2009-06-18T20:29:00.001-07:00

So this is the song for the day because we're trying to get rid of our (shit) bargain priced antiques, before we move.
EKKK.

Do you want my styrofoam peanuts?
They're on Craigslist.

Hammer Time

2009-06-18T20:10:00.000-07:00

Who says white folks can't dance?

Obama Smackdown

2009-06-18T20:05:00.000-07:00

But he'd like to do this to most of the GOP!

Proof That I Remember

2009-06-11T03:36:00.000-07:00

I'm a published author. Looking Glass Central Regional High School. Volume 17 1982.

It could have been....
The space in me has grown so big
That no amount of tears,
or frustration,
or letters,
or denial,
or comfort,
can cure me.
No matter how hard I try
I see pictures of us
Flashing through my mind
---sentenced to repeated showings of OUR movie.
But even so
I don't know what to do.
I've tried to forget you,
To put you out of my life
I've even tried to hate you
---but I can't
My heart is reaching for the phone
Yet something is telling me
I'm asking for pain
But I think I'm pretty close to being numb---
or dumb....
Lisa
Thompson 1982

More on Moving

2009-06-11T03:23:00.000-07:00

I had a day the other day not sure is it was good or bad but here's what happened.
I went to the bowels of my closet to retrieve the 'mourning stuff"
things I have already gone through several times
when will i learn?
after my mom passed away
after i moved it here
now again when i am trying to figure out what to take on this next move
it's just mushy stuff
my Dad as big and Colnel like that he was
was a MUSH
he saved so many things
as I went through them for the first time it was like the hug I never got
little things
notes of the grandchildren, telegraph congratulating my sister on her engagement and the birth of her son, the first grandchild
pictures of all of my siblings throughout grade school and high school
you get the picture.
so in this digital world it's hard to decide how to preserve this snapshot of
my life
so I put it in a box
I've been trying to share it with the boy and the girl as I pack it up
they seem disinterested.
which makes me wonder
was i this disinterested as my Mom talked to me about the pictures that I now
am trying to decide
what to do with because
I don't know who
the heck is that person staring back at me
on the other side of the picture

Gratitude

2009-06-11T03:16:00.000-07:00

Going through STUFF in preparation for the move.
It takes me a while to part with things
thank you very much.
I am starting to dissect the parts of this
Pack Rat thing.
Number One-
my parents didn't share a whole lot with us
about life
their life
so we were left wondering
anything that is left of them now is a piece if the story???
number two
when you find your self in a place of need
being thankful for 4 one hundred percent cotton pillow cases
you have a hard time letting go of the extra ones you now own.
thank you
for the extra pillow cases in our life

Madona- why so Far Away?

2009-06-06T18:04:00.000-07:00

Madonna , why don't you come to Hawaii, it's not that bad.
Come on- world tour but no Hawaii?

oh how I love hawaii

2009-05-31T01:37:00.000-07:00

Faced with the possibility of moving off island recently
I was faced with a reality...
I've come to love this place
and I was willing to do pretty much whatever it took to stay here,
it was a full circle moment.
My parents were here quite a while ago , my Father's first assignment out of flight school, Honolulu. His classmates teased him because there was nuclear testing going on in the Pacific Islands and they thought he was sure to be nuked. Instead, his job was to fly dignitaries across the Pacific to Asia. It was a charmed life for a newlywed couple.
My sister was born here. So even though I might be considered a mainland Haole, I think that it's serendipitous that here we are.
I grew up with little snippets of Hawaiian culture:
Terriyaki, Don Ho, Tetami tables, Asian art and furniture.
My mother came to die here
now that's a full circle moment
and hopefully that circle will continue
marriages and babies
and more generations
loving
continuing the story that started decades ago.
We are so happy to be able to stay here.
That's all I'm saying.
Lucky we live Hawaii.

Spelling Bee

2009-05-29T00:16:00.000-07:00

La·od·i·ce·an (l-d-sn)

lacking in opinion in religion or politics

Here's one of the final words in the national spelling bee.
I know one thing for sure our family is most certainly
NOT
Laodicean in our opinions!
So There.

Exercise

2009-05-28T22:05:00.001-07:00

Love this guy....
I actually went for a run the other day after a at least two month break to due the PLAGUE also known as
H1N1 virus the swine flu.

Only kidding just wanted to know if you were paying attention =+)

We had the Haemophilus Influenzae
Also known as the flu that makes you wonder if you will ever sleep through the night, with out coughing again flu
Or will I ever be able to say more than three words without coughing flu
Or the will I ever be able to stop drooling on the pillow flu
and lastly will the magnet be removed from my bed flu?
Yes the boy and I have been suffering from this for 2+ months.
Crazy.
The boy goes for a CT of his sinuses tomorrow ,
but we are on the mends we only cough in the morning
and We'll take that.

Any way back to the run
look how I celebrated.

yup it's a burger.

can anyone say sabotage?

Pooping in Public

2009-05-28T20:18:00.000-07:00

Do you ever feel bad for dogs because they have to poop in public?.
I was driving by a dog today, a very pretty girl who looked so embaressed to have to do
THAT in public.
So yeah that is my random thought for the day.
In the end I think I'm WAY too sensitive.
And most people can't relate.

Love Letter To Rob Thomas and My Bonus Daughter

2009-05-27T14:36:00.000-07:00

Ouch it hurt, the California Supreme Court decision to uphold proposition Hate. I still don't understand it. If someone told me who I loved didn't matter because it was someone of the same sex, I would feel very devalued as a person. It's so wrong. I'm feeling sad I won't be there at the end of the month to celebrate your love because I've been witness to it and it's special.
I can't wait to see that baby, and watch you both , as you grow in your relationship and your love together. The love your baby will bring will be more than you could ever imagine. I can't wait to be witness to that, your union is amazing.

I wish these were my own words but... here's what Rob Thomas had to say......

"I believe that America is a great nation of even greater people. I also believe that anyone who says that this is a "Christian nation" has RHS, or revisionist history syndrome, and doesn't realize that most of our founding fathers were either atheist or at least could see, even in the 1700s, that all through Europe at the time, religion was the cause of so much persecution that they needed to put into their brand new constitution a SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE so that the ideals of a group of people could never be forced onto the whole. (I also find it funny when people point out to me that it says "one nation under god" in our pledge of allegiance, not realizing that this was an addition made in 1954 during the communism scare of the McCarthy era. It's not surprising, however, knowing that these same people would punch me in the mouth if I called Jesus a Jew.)

I believe the fact that an atheist, who doesn't believe in God at all, is allowed to enter into the holy land of marriage while a gay Christian is not, shows that this law is arbitrary. Are we to believe that anyone who doesn't live their life according to the King James Bible isn't protected by the same laws that protect those who do? Using the same argument that I've seen on the 700 Club, that would mean that Jewish, Hindu, or Muslim weddings are also null and void.

I believe that to deny this right to the gay population is to say to them, "this god is not your god and he doesn't love you." There isn't one person who is against gay marriage that can give me a reason why it shouldn't be legal without bringing God or their religion into it. Still, I'm amazed at the audacity of a small, misdirected group of the ultra-conservative Christian right wing, to spend millions of dollars, in a recession, on advertisements to stop two men or women who love each other from being able to be married, but when you present any opposition to them, they accuse you of attacking their religion. Isn't it funny that the people who are the quickest to take someone's basic rights to happiness are always the loudest to scream when someone attacks their right to do so?

But this isn't a paper about religion. How could it be? Since we clearly have a separation of church and state, how could a conversation about laws have anything to do with religion at all? I'm writing about basic civil rights. We've been here before, fighting for the rights of African Americans or women to vote, or the rights of Jewish Americans to worship as they see fit. And, just as whites fought for African Americans or Christians for Jewish Americans, straight people must stand up and be a voice for gay people."

Change

2009-05-24T23:12:00.000-07:00

Change
Oh, it's a love-hate relationship...
you've been my friend and my enemy
my whole life.
Just when I thought I had it all figured out
you change...had to knock on the door and say
"not so fast". let's mix it up a bit.

Just when I got used to Dad being around, it was time to leave in the middle of the night on a plane.
Just when I found my niche in school it was time to move again.
Just when I could see my place in a new High School, one I knew, it was time to go somewhere else...
a school with 1200 students, not exactly the same.
That definitely CHANGED me.

And then I start to thrive on change...New York, Philadelphia, Washington DC, Maryland, California, Hawaii.
And then I tire of it.
Just when I was feeling, healing my relationship with my Dad, he's gone;
that's change I could do without.
Subsequent changes with siblings; that's change I could do without.
California, thought we'd be there forever...not so much.
Hawaii, now this, I hope, is finally home.
Mom comes back home (she was here in her young married life); my Mom arrived--- with breast cancer.
She is home, but not here anymore.
That's change I could do without
But I guess change is a synonym for GROWTH

And now we face change again,
new job,
new home,
new schools,
but look at this!
This is what we will see out our back door.
Change is good!

Rainbows in Manoa

2009-05-23T23:24:00.000-07:00

In the end it's always about the kids
fighting for what you believe in
giving someone a chance that has been dealt
something
that is a challenge
don't judge me because
I'm imperfect
see me for who I am with so much to give
we fight for that
we care about that
and today on the most special day for some students
in Manoa
It was so worth it to see a student come up
tear filled eyes and say thank you
so worth it
THE END
love you for fighting for
THAT~~~~~
That is living a purpose filled life.

Memorial Day

2009-05-21T23:22:00.000-07:00

Cancer Haunts me,
It's the shadow in the corner that scares you, and you look away
not wanting to believe in the boogie man.

Once you have been a care giver for someone with cancer
You never forget what it looks like...
never.
Once You have stared cancer in the face,lived with it... the scans, the tests, the chemo, the operations...
I know I'm not alone,
In that fear
of the shadow
that has been precariously bestowed on your soul.
I've talked to people in the same situation
and they share.
not "if"
but "when"
because it's the loved ones who bear witness
and know they might be next
that whole genetics thing that gives us amazing strength, intelligence...and sometimes somethings we can't control.
It's good and bad
because it gives you a new perspective
about what is important;
yet it also takes you a little to the dark side
knowing what those last moments look like...
how ugly they are.
It shakes up what you think the rest of your life will or could look like.

Anytime there is cancer in the headlines,
I pay attention,
Farah Fawcett,
Brett Hudson,
Patrich Swayze,
Christina Applegate;
not that their cancer is any different
than the thousands of anymous suffering,
but they have a chance to do something ,
to share what it is really like.
And fortunatley their fame and the love that goes along with that
can spur people into action and bring awareness to treatments that people with money,to travel, can seek out.

I came across some really compelling information
recently that I would like to share with you.
Bottom line,
alternative treatment can be better treatment... just not approved in the United States.

So the blurb is definitely Hollywood, but check out the Klinikmovie.com. Read the blog, ESPECIALLY if you have someone in your life dealing with cancer. You have to be your own medical advocate.
MAKES ME SAD!

WYSISWYG

2009-05-19T03:27:00.000-07:00

I have always liked the WYSISWYG principle or phoentecily speaking
wizzy wig, or what you see is what you get. I'm kind of that girl, not very good at lying or pretending, or posturing.
It's an asset and a deficit,
I know, but that is who I am and based on that I've come to some realizations......

if you pay attention to the positive energy that comes into your life
and at the same time allow a release of toxic relationships
open to new possibilities
new relationships
if you are open to receiving
what is offered
without fear
it can be a beautiful thing

Grey's Anatomy Finale

2009-05-15T00:43:00.000-07:00

My favorite line....Christina...
"You pulled out my icicles."

Holy shit moment...
George was the bus guy!!
did not see that coming.

007 licensed to kill.
George, T.R.
no you can't go I stood in line with you once
my cutie patutie

Hannah no snarky comments , you don't know what your missing;-)

It's The Climb

2009-05-08T02:35:00.000-07:00

So about one month ago today our world was
seriously turned
upside down
like dump it all out and see what happens......
i was uncharectilistically calm and believed there was a higher purpose.
for the most part
I had my moments as any stay at home mom would
OMG how to make myself marketable after 15 years
but I took a step back and looked in the mirror
and there was more there than I realized
I could sumon all the marketing skills if need be,
I could be the strong one in the family and remind everyone what their gifts are
and in that moment I realized my gifts,
my strength,
and on the other side ,
I believe we will look back and say
It's the climb......

It's Really Not As Scary As H1N1

2009-05-06T11:21:00.000-07:00

Jamie Pugh- Britain's Got Talent

2009-05-04T17:34:00.000-07:00

This will make you cry. I'm a sucker for the under dog.

God on high
Hear my prayer
In my need
You have always been there

He is young
He's afraid
Let him rest
Heaven blessed.
Bring him home
Bring him home
Bring him home.

He's like the son I might have known
If God had granted me a son.
The summers die
One by one
How soon they fly
On and on
And I am old
And will be gone.

Bring him peace
Bring him joy
He is young
He is only a boy

You can take
You can give
Let him be
Let him live
If I die, let me die
Let him live
Bring him home
Bring him home
Bring him home.

Invisible Children.com

2009-05-02T16:51:00.000-07:00

Go to invisible children .com, watch the movie The Rescue and write your congressman. Share the video with friends and family.
If you believe in being a Global citizen, something must be done. When you go to the website click on menu and then watch the movie.

Real or Rumor?

2009-05-02T03:18:00.000-07:00

The girl and I fight over two vintage Madonna concert T-Shirt's, Nightly!
To sleep in.

One is circa 1987, "Who's That Girl?", tour.

The other, circa 1990, "Blonde Ambition", tour.

The girl says, "you went to two Madonna concerts before we were born?"
You were naughty.
REAL, no I wasn't naughty, just irreverent.

Oh and I am always ahead of the times because, I wanted Madonna guns before Michelle Obama guns were hot.
Not that I'm trying to show how current , I am, and ancient at the same time , or anything.

Oh and why I have two t-shirts that are umm.... counting....22-25 years old, yeah that is embarrassing and is a whole other
blog post.
for sure.

I Will Always Love You, Dolly Parton

2009-05-01T18:12:00.000-07:00

"You either starve or you get fat, it's a bitch!"
-Dolly Parton

Thoughts on Swine Flu

2009-04-30T20:46:00.000-07:00

While I am prone to anxiety, someone must be stepping in and saying "look the other way girl", because I am not feeling too worried about this swine flu thing. Maybe it's because I have always loved pigs. For real, I can make a snorting , pig like noise that is the envy of my family. We have had a "few" competitions to see if anyone can make the snorting noise. Always good for laughs when I am in need .

But Seriously:
With the epicenter in Mexico City , looking at the health care available there compared to ours: poverty, no follow up, no wonder it's an epidemic there. In today's global world unfortunately one countries problems can become the world's problems due to a great invention known as air travel. All that said, current DNA research shows that the there is a protein missing that makes this flu less severe and similar to a strain in 1957 so older people are not at risk because they may have immunity due to the genetic similarity to a previous strain. That takes one of the risk groups out of the scenario. Historicaly most deaths from flu happen with the very young, the old and those with compromised health or immunity. One case in Fort Worth school district affects 80,000 students? doesn't seem to make sense to me. I do think this is a great exercise in public awareness as far as how quickly disease can spread in our global economy. Which also makes the point that world health problems can become ours-- literally overnight.

Early Birds Catch the Worm But......

2009-04-29T21:38:00.000-07:00

"Smug early birds take note: Night owls actually have more mental stamina than those who awaken at the crack of dawn, according to new research. “It's the late risers who have the advantage, and can outperform the early birds,” said Philippe Peigneux, a professor of clinical neuropsychology at the Free University of Brussels in Belgium, who along with co-author Christina Schmidt published the counterintuitive findings in the latest issue of the journal Science."

Finally PROOF!!!
for the whole article go here:http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20090423.wsleep0423/BNStory/Science/

Throw Up Burp

2009-04-27T22:51:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I see people
And I get a throw up burp
in the back of my throat,
I swallow and
Still smile

Jim Carey on Vaccinations, or Selective Vaccinations

2009-04-26T22:40:00.000-07:00

When I was a young Mother I started to raise my family the way I was brought up, do as my Mother had, don't question.
That changed very quickly, as I fell in love with my baby. I couldn't stand to let him cry it out, I nursed as requested and for a time frame that would raise a lot of eyebrows, babies were in bed for a time frame that would raise a lot of eyebrows. At first I vaccinated as prescribed, without question, the boy had side effects that were unacceptable to me, I was told they were "within the range of normal" , even though one side effect was a symptom of slight swelling of the brain. That's when I said "No Thank
You" and started to decide for myself. What is the risk of disease vs. risk of vaccine? I know there is public health policy issues here but when we abdicate decision making to public policy makers it's not in the interest of the individual. When the chicken pox vaccine was first available, my pediatrician said ,"it's a public health issue, to lower absenteeism at work and school." Shortly after that it was necessary for school admittance. My children attended a party where the party favor was
chicken Pox. Most children had been vaccinated, ( not mine) and all children attending went home with the special party favor,
CHICKEN POX'S!

"Recently, I was amazed to hear a commentary by CNN's Campbell Brown on the controversial vaccine issue. After a ruling by the 'special vaccine court' saying the Measles, Mumps, Rubella shot wasn't found to be responsible for the plaintiffs' autism, she and others in the media began making assertions that the judgment was in, and vaccines had been proven safe. No one would be more relieved than Jenny and I if that were true. But with all due respect to Ms. Brown, a ruling against causation in three cases out of more than 5000 hardly proves that other children won't be adversely affected by the MMR, let alone that all vaccines are safe. This is a huge leap of logic by any one's standards. Not everyone gets cancer from smoking, but cigarettes do cause cancer. After 100 years and many rulings in favor of the tobacco companies, we finally figured that out.

The truth is that no one without a vested interest in the profitability of vaccines has studied all 36 of them in depth. There are more than 100 vaccines in development, and no tests for cumulative effect or vaccine interaction of all 36 vaccines in the current schedule have ever been done. If I'm mistaken, I challenge those who are making such grand pronouncements about vaccine safety to produce those studies.

If we are to believe that the ruling of the 'vaccine court' in these cases mean that all vaccines are safe, then we must also consider the rulings of that same court in the Hannah Polling and Bailey Banks cases, which ruled vaccines were the cause of autism and therefore assume that all vaccines are unsafe. Clearly both are irresponsible assumptions, and neither option is prudent.

In this growing crisis, we cannot afford to blindly trumpet the agenda of the CDC, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) or vaccine makers. Now more than ever, we must resist the urge to close this book before it's been written. The anecdotal evidence of millions of parents who've seen their totally normal kids regress into sickness and mental isolation after a trip to the pediatrician's office must be seriously considered. The legitimate concern they and many in the scientific community have that environmental toxins, including those found in vaccines, may be causing autism and other disorders (Aspergers, ADD, ADHD), cannot be dissuaded by a show of sympathy and a friendly invitation to look for the 'real' cause of autism anywhere but within the lucrative vaccine program.

With vaccines being the fastest growing division of the pharmaceutical industry, isn't it possible that profits may play a part in the decision-making? That the vaccine program is becoming more of a profit engine than a means of prevention? In a world left reeling from the catastrophic effects of greed, mismanagement and corporate insensitivity, is it so absurd for us to wonder why American children are being given twice as many vaccines on average, compared to the top 30 first world countries?

Paul Offit, the vaccine advocate and profiteer, who helped invent a Rotavirus vaccine is said to have paved the way for his own multi-million dollar windfall while serving on the very council that eventually voted his Rotavirus vaccine onto our children's schedule. On August 21, 2000 a congressional investigation's report titled, "Conflicts in Vaccine Policy," stated:

It has become clear over the course of this investigation that the VRBPAC and the ACIP [the two main advisory boards that determine the vaccine schedule] are dominated by individuals with close working relationships with the vaccine producers. This was never the intent of the Federal Advisory Committee Act, which requires that a diversity of views be represented on advisory committees.
Isn't that enough to raise questions about the process of choosing the vaccine schedule?

With many states like Minnesota now reporting the number at 1 in 80 children affected with autism, can we afford to trust those who serve two masters or their logic that tells us "one size fits all" when it comes to vaccines? Can we afford to ignore vaccines as a possible cause of these rising numbers when they are one of the fastest growing elements in our children's environment? With all the doubt that's left hanging on this topic, how can anyone in the media or medical profession, boldly demand that all parents march out and give their kids 36 of these shots, six at a time in dosage levels equal to that given a 200 pound man? This is a bias of the most dangerous kind.

I've also heard it said that no evidence of a link between vaccines and autism has ever been found. That statement is only true for the CDC, the AAP and the vaccine makers who've been ignoring mountains of scientific information and testimony. There's no evidence of the Lincoln Memorial if you look the other way and refuse to turn around. But if you care to look, it's really quite impressive. For a sample of vaccine injury evidence go to www.generationrescue.org/lincolnmemorial.html.

We have never argued that people shouldn't be immunized for the most serious threats including measles and polio, but surely there's a limit as to how many viruses and toxins can be introduced into the body of a small child. Veterinarians found out years ago that in many cases they were over-immunizing our pets, a syndrome they call Vaccinosis. It overwhelmed the immune system of the animals, causing myriad physical and neurological disorders. Sound familiar? If you can over-immunize a dog, is it so far out to assume that you can over-immunize a child? These forward thinking vets also decided to remove thimerosal from animal vaccines in 1992, and yet this substance, which is 49% mercury, is still in human vaccines. Don't our children deserve as much consideration as our pets?

I think I'd rather listen to the more sensible voice of Dr. Bernadine Healy, former head of the National Institute of Health, who says:

Listen to the patients and the patients will teach...I think there is an inexcusable issue, and that's the lack of research that's been done here...A parent can legitimately question giving a one-day old baby, or a two-day old baby [the] Hepatitis B vaccine that has no risk for it [and] the mother has no risk for it. That's a heavy-duty vaccine given on day two [of life]. I think those are legitimate questions.
Dr. Healy is also calling for a long overdue study of vaccinated vs. unvaccinated. Dr. Frank Engly, a researcher and microbiologist who served on the boards of the CDC, FDA and EPA during the 70s and 80s, warned:

The CDC cannot afford to admit thimerosal is toxic because they have been promoting it for several years...If they would have followed through with our 1982 report, vaccines would have been freed of thimerosal and all this autism as they tell me would not have occurred. But as it is, it all occurred.
In all likelihood the truth about vaccines is that they are both good and bad. While ingredients like aluminum, mercury, ether, formaldehyde and anti-freeze may help preserve and enhance vaccines, they can be toxic as well. The assortment of viruses delivered by multiple immunizations may also be a hazard. I agree with the growing number of voices within the medical and scientific community who believe that vaccines, like every other drug, have risks as well as benefits and that for the sake of profit, American children are being given too many, too soon. One thing is certain. We don't know enough to announce that all vaccines are safe!

If the CDC, the AAP and Ms. Brown insist that our children take twice as many shots as the rest of the western world, we need more independent vaccine research not done by the drug companies selling the vaccines or by organizations under their influence. Studies that cannot be internally suppressed. Answers parents can trust. Perhaps this is what Campbell Brown should be demanding and how the power of the press could better serve the public in the future."

-- Jim Carrey

Things To Be Happy About

2009-04-26T22:09:00.000-07:00

In no particular order:

1. We have money in the bank
2.We have loving and caring friends
3.We live in Hawaii and hopefully will stay here
4 The Girl's face looks better than we could have imagined
5. Despite the HUGE vet bill Buddy is o.k.
6. I didn't get cited for proof of insurance, only lack of safety check
7. The boy and I probably don't have swine flu even though we've been sick for 5+ weeks
8. Stress is a great weight loss plan
9. Stress and illness help you get caught up on all those hours of sleep that proceeded said stress
10.When I leave the house, I pay attention to all the people who have it so much worse.

TOO Sensitive, I guess

2009-04-26T22:00:00.000-07:00

Am I self absorbed, overly sensitive, or are other people clueless?
Someone sends a you tube video of "stand by Me"
When they have not,
what is up with that?