Thoughts on Swine Flu

While I am prone to anxiety, someone must be stepping in and saying "look the other way girl", because I am not feeling too worried about this swine flu thing. Maybe it's because I have always loved pigs. For real, I can make a snorting , pig like noise that is the envy of my family. We have had a "few" competitions to see if anyone can make the snorting noise. Always good for laughs when I am in need .

But Seriously:
With the epicenter in Mexico City , looking at the health care available there compared to ours: poverty, no follow up, no wonder it's an epidemic there. In today's global world unfortunately one countries problems can become the world's problems due to a great invention known as air travel. All that said, current DNA research shows that the there is a protein missing that makes this flu less severe and similar to a strain in 1957 so older people are not at risk because they may have immunity due to the genetic similarity to a previous strain. That takes one of the risk groups out of the scenario. Historicaly most deaths from flu happen with the very young, the old and those with compromised health or immunity. One case in Fort Worth school district affects 80,000 students? doesn't seem to make sense to me. I do think this is a great exercise in public awareness as far as how quickly disease can spread in our global economy. Which also makes the point that world health problems can become ours-- literally overnight.

Early Birds Catch the Worm But......

"Smug early birds take note: Night owls actually have more mental stamina than those who awaken at the crack of dawn, according to new research. “It's the late risers who have the advantage, and can outperform the early birds,” said Philippe Peigneux, a professor of clinical neuropsychology at the Free University of Brussels in Belgium, who along with co-author Christina Schmidt published the counterintuitive findings in the latest issue of the journal Science."

Finally PROOF!!!
for the whole article go here:http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20090423.wsleep0423/BNStory/Science/

Throw Up Burp

Sometimes, I see people
And I get a throw up burp
in the back of my throat,
I swallow and
Still smile

Jim Carey on Vaccinations, or Selective Vaccinations

When I was a young Mother I started to raise my family the way I was brought up, do as my Mother had, don't question.
That changed very quickly, as I fell in love with my baby. I couldn't stand to let him cry it out, I nursed as requested and for a time frame that would raise a lot of eyebrows, babies were in bed for a time frame that would raise a lot of eyebrows. At first I vaccinated as prescribed, without question, the boy had side effects that were unacceptable to me, I was told they were "within the range of normal" , even though one side effect was a symptom of slight swelling of the brain. That's when I said "No Thank
You" and started to decide for myself. What is the risk of disease vs. risk of vaccine? I know there is public health policy issues here but when we abdicate decision making to public policy makers it's not in the interest of the individual. When the chicken pox vaccine was first available, my pediatrician said ,"it's a public health issue, to lower absenteeism at work and school." Shortly after that it was necessary for school admittance. My children attended a party where the party favor was
chicken Pox. Most children had been vaccinated, ( not mine) and all children attending went home with the special party favor,
CHICKEN POX'S!



"Recently, I was amazed to hear a commentary by CNN's Campbell Brown on the controversial vaccine issue. After a ruling by the 'special vaccine court' saying the Measles, Mumps, Rubella shot wasn't found to be responsible for the plaintiffs' autism, she and others in the media began making assertions that the judgment was in, and vaccines had been proven safe. No one would be more relieved than Jenny and I if that were true. But with all due respect to Ms. Brown, a ruling against causation in three cases out of more than 5000 hardly proves that other children won't be adversely affected by the MMR, let alone that all vaccines are safe. This is a huge leap of logic by any one's standards. Not everyone gets cancer from smoking, but cigarettes do cause cancer. After 100 years and many rulings in favor of the tobacco companies, we finally figured that out.

The truth is that no one without a vested interest in the profitability of vaccines has studied all 36 of them in depth. There are more than 100 vaccines in development, and no tests for cumulative effect or vaccine interaction of all 36 vaccines in the current schedule have ever been done. If I'm mistaken, I challenge those who are making such grand pronouncements about vaccine safety to produce those studies.

If we are to believe that the ruling of the 'vaccine court' in these cases mean that all vaccines are safe, then we must also consider the rulings of that same court in the Hannah Polling and Bailey Banks cases, which ruled vaccines were the cause of autism and therefore assume that all vaccines are unsafe. Clearly both are irresponsible assumptions, and neither option is prudent.

In this growing crisis, we cannot afford to blindly trumpet the agenda of the CDC, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) or vaccine makers. Now more than ever, we must resist the urge to close this book before it's been written. The anecdotal evidence of millions of parents who've seen their totally normal kids regress into sickness and mental isolation after a trip to the pediatrician's office must be seriously considered. The legitimate concern they and many in the scientific community have that environmental toxins, including those found in vaccines, may be causing autism and other disorders (Aspergers, ADD, ADHD), cannot be dissuaded by a show of sympathy and a friendly invitation to look for the 'real' cause of autism anywhere but within the lucrative vaccine program.

With vaccines being the fastest growing division of the pharmaceutical industry, isn't it possible that profits may play a part in the decision-making? That the vaccine program is becoming more of a profit engine than a means of prevention? In a world left reeling from the catastrophic effects of greed, mismanagement and corporate insensitivity, is it so absurd for us to wonder why American children are being given twice as many vaccines on average, compared to the top 30 first world countries?

Paul Offit, the vaccine advocate and profiteer, who helped invent a Rotavirus vaccine is said to have paved the way for his own multi-million dollar windfall while serving on the very council that eventually voted his Rotavirus vaccine onto our children's schedule. On August 21, 2000 a congressional investigation's report titled, "Conflicts in Vaccine Policy," stated:

It has become clear over the course of this investigation that the VRBPAC and the ACIP [the two main advisory boards that determine the vaccine schedule] are dominated by individuals with close working relationships with the vaccine producers. This was never the intent of the Federal Advisory Committee Act, which requires that a diversity of views be represented on advisory committees.
Isn't that enough to raise questions about the process of choosing the vaccine schedule?

With many states like Minnesota now reporting the number at 1 in 80 children affected with autism, can we afford to trust those who serve two masters or their logic that tells us "one size fits all" when it comes to vaccines? Can we afford to ignore vaccines as a possible cause of these rising numbers when they are one of the fastest growing elements in our children's environment? With all the doubt that's left hanging on this topic, how can anyone in the media or medical profession, boldly demand that all parents march out and give their kids 36 of these shots, six at a time in dosage levels equal to that given a 200 pound man? This is a bias of the most dangerous kind.

I've also heard it said that no evidence of a link between vaccines and autism has ever been found. That statement is only true for the CDC, the AAP and the vaccine makers who've been ignoring mountains of scientific information and testimony. There's no evidence of the Lincoln Memorial if you look the other way and refuse to turn around. But if you care to look, it's really quite impressive. For a sample of vaccine injury evidence go to www.generationrescue.org/lincolnmemorial.html.

We have never argued that people shouldn't be immunized for the most serious threats including measles and polio, but surely there's a limit as to how many viruses and toxins can be introduced into the body of a small child. Veterinarians found out years ago that in many cases they were over-immunizing our pets, a syndrome they call Vaccinosis. It overwhelmed the immune system of the animals, causing myriad physical and neurological disorders. Sound familiar? If you can over-immunize a dog, is it so far out to assume that you can over-immunize a child? These forward thinking vets also decided to remove thimerosal from animal vaccines in 1992, and yet this substance, which is 49% mercury, is still in human vaccines. Don't our children deserve as much consideration as our pets?

I think I'd rather listen to the more sensible voice of Dr. Bernadine Healy, former head of the National Institute of Health, who says:

Listen to the patients and the patients will teach...I think there is an inexcusable issue, and that's the lack of research that's been done here...A parent can legitimately question giving a one-day old baby, or a two-day old baby [the] Hepatitis B vaccine that has no risk for it [and] the mother has no risk for it. That's a heavy-duty vaccine given on day two [of life]. I think those are legitimate questions.
Dr. Healy is also calling for a long overdue study of vaccinated vs. unvaccinated. Dr. Frank Engly, a researcher and microbiologist who served on the boards of the CDC, FDA and EPA during the 70s and 80s, warned:

The CDC cannot afford to admit thimerosal is toxic because they have been promoting it for several years...If they would have followed through with our 1982 report, vaccines would have been freed of thimerosal and all this autism as they tell me would not have occurred. But as it is, it all occurred.
In all likelihood the truth about vaccines is that they are both good and bad. While ingredients like aluminum, mercury, ether, formaldehyde and anti-freeze may help preserve and enhance vaccines, they can be toxic as well. The assortment of viruses delivered by multiple immunizations may also be a hazard. I agree with the growing number of voices within the medical and scientific community who believe that vaccines, like every other drug, have risks as well as benefits and that for the sake of profit, American children are being given too many, too soon. One thing is certain. We don't know enough to announce that all vaccines are safe!

If the CDC, the AAP and Ms. Brown insist that our children take twice as many shots as the rest of the western world, we need more independent vaccine research not done by the drug companies selling the vaccines or by organizations under their influence. Studies that cannot be internally suppressed. Answers parents can trust. Perhaps this is what Campbell Brown should be demanding and how the power of the press could better serve the public in the future."

-- Jim Carrey

Things To Be Happy About

In no particular order:



1. We have money in the bank
2.We have loving and caring friends
3.We live in Hawaii and hopefully will stay here
4 The Girl's face looks better than we could have imagined
5. Despite the HUGE vet bill Buddy is o.k.
6. I didn't get cited for proof of insurance, only lack of safety check
7. The boy and I probably don't have swine flu even though we've been sick for 5+ weeks
8. Stress is a great weight loss plan
9. Stress and illness help you get caught up on all those hours of sleep that proceeded said stress
10.When I leave the house, I pay attention to all the people who have it so much worse.

TOO Sensitive, I guess

Am I self absorbed, overly sensitive, or are other people clueless?
Someone sends a you tube video of "stand by Me"
When they have not,
what is up with that?

It's The Climb

so we are going through huge changes



name it
job change
check
moving
check
changing schools or going to school (from home school)
check
possibly leaving pets behind
check
mom going to work and not homeschooling anymore
check
oh and did i mention
WE HAVE TEENAGERS
and I swore over my troll dolls I would never do
"THIS " to my kids
because it's too similar to
what I went through as an Air Force Kid
But Alas,
that's the never say never clause giving me a big huge punch in the face
HAH don't be so self righteous
Now I know the lesson to be learned is......
ummmmm........
thinking it will come to me it always does
but it is not transparent right now I will
keep you updated
you anonymous
four readers of mine.

and now I will add the lyrics for the
"soundtrack" of the day otherwise known
as
"No I'm not schizophrenic I have songs in my mind, and they really don't talk to me and ......"

He He.....
I want to post it without stating the artist, because i don't want to prejudice anyone, slash, everone. But I've always been about the words. So here you go here's the voice inside my head for today if you care to consider it.

Either way , love you all my four readers


I can almost see it
That dream I’m dreaming but
There’s a voice inside my head sayin,
You’ll never reach it,
Every step I’m taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high

There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm going to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb

The struggles I’m facing,
The chances I’m taking
Sometimes they might knock me down but
No I’m not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I’m going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going
And I,
I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on,
cause

There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm going to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb

There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Somebody's you're going to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb

Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith baby
It’s all about
It’s all about
The climb
Keep the faith
Keep your faith

Once But Really Twice

It Made it to American Idol and Simon said it was "brilliant"
Song from the movie Once
Spinning round my head


Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along

The girl is recovering with the help of milkshakes.
She hasn't looked at her face yet.
She's covered all the mirrors in the bedroom :-(
It's going to be o.k. baby girl.

stop that!

I have had the feeling many times in my adult life
"can't we please stop the merry go round
so I can get off and stop feeling dizzy?"

you're a heartbreaker, don't you mess around with me

so here's the heartbreaker
I've moved, I cried
I've moved, I cried
my Dad not always there so much
in the repeated program
I move, I cried
repeat
repeat
my Mom was stoic
that's how it goes
just do it.,
fast Forward to my young family life...
I remember when i had to move my family by myself
boy four, girl two
Like I packed the whole house myself
but that was o.k
I had training
no complaining
when I shared with my Mom how overwhelmed I was
her response was
"it's amazing what you can do
when you have to"
Which is so true

I vowed that I would not do "that" to my children ever
no moving
no moving
and now I have to step up to that challenge
because you can' t always control everything in life
Only
Love
I hope my children are confident
without question
that I love them

Is There a God Part Two

Sounds I love
That amazing belly laugh of a toddler
sounds I will never forget
last night a blood curdling scream
that shakes you inside out
sheer terror in your child's eyes
sheer terror inside your heart while trying to be calm
visually to your child on the outside
it's always scary when there is blood and you can't see how bad it is
but when you get a look
and you don't even know how this is going to end up
that is when the brave mom shit has to kick in
we were both holding on for reassurance
It's ok, it's o.k
breathe
breathe in and hold,
look at me,
look at me,
it's going to be o.k
is it (I ask myself)
is it (tell her yes)
holy shit
I've used up my stress "receptors"
my job description lately is stay calm
assure everyone it is going to be ok
crisis management
is my number one skill on my resume of late
but can I just say
UNCLE
UNCLE
UNCLE
I cry uncle
God or whoever you are give me a
freaking break
PLEASE

Reality Check

Recent events are truly testing my faith
I'm trying to stay positive believe that there is a bigger dream or plan
God has a plan
Well right now I think
God
Is
Drunk!!!!!!!

Good Morning

I wake up in the morning to a thud.
That's the sound of reality settling into my
mind....

picking up trash in dresses

job descprition:
picking up trash in dresses
I'm good at that
actually







And what a beautiful mess this is
It's like we're picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write
Kind of turn themselves into knives
And don't mind my nerve you could call it fiction
But I like being submerged in your contradictions
'Cause here we are, here we are

Although you were biased I love your advice
Your comebacks they're quick
And probably have to do with your insecurities
There's no shame in being crazy

And what a beautiful mess this is
It's like picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you say
Kind of turn themselves into blades
And kind and courteous is a life I've heard

What a beautiful mess this is
It's like taking a guess when the only answer is yes

thank you to the lovely one - who knows who she is- for this:


Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even
though checkered by failure... than to rank with those poor spirits
who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray
twilight that knows not victory nor defeat. -- Theodore Roosevelt

The Bucket List

Time to compose the
Bucket List
I feel strangely liberated and understandably terrified to jump out of the plane.




1. Laugh as much as possible
2. Love and keep my eyes open for love in my daily life, for instance this from Hannabanna@ Hannahs.vox.com:

Incidentally, as I have been sitting in my favourite coffee shop writing this, I have had the pleasure of overhearing an elderly man speaking to an even more elderly woman, who I assume is his mother or another close relative. I can only hear his side of the conversation, but I gather that she is repeatedly asking the same questions. Does he have any children? How old is he? How old is she? Where does he live? Does she have any grandchildren? What is his job? The love and patience with which he is responding to her questions cheers my heart. Truly. Each time he answers a question it's as if he's saying it for the very first time, not repeating word-for-word the same thing he said two minutes previously. My milk of human kindness has been replenished for the day.

Or this personal observation:

Every time I leave the house I come back to two "little people" that are SO HAPPY to see me
yeah not the boy and the girl but these guys.
Unconditional love
and I will make sure to breathe it in.


Eckhart Tolle says pets are the keepers of the present.
I really want to slip into their world

"DUDE that girl that feeds us and walks us is back!!!!
oh I hate when my tail goes all loco on me I can barely walk


scratch my tummy
scratch my tummy
oh thank you
I've missed you
now i can go watch the wind blow in the back yard and be content
and when that glowing ball up there goes down I get
the most amazing food
and it's so perfect that I get the same thing every day!!!
and after I've sniffed all those amazing trees in the huge universe she takes us around I feel so
hmmmmmm perfect and then I get to
sleep on a bed I can only describe as
Doggie Heaven.
Dude we better go lick her toes so she knows how much we love her


Say what you need to say......

Song For The Day and Adam Lambert

"All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
And their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression"

Now I might have to go on a Tears For Fears bender....

Because "EverBody Wants To Rule the World"
AND
Sorry but I love Adam Lambert even more.




Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
'Cos I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad World
Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me

Sage Advice From Suze Orman

If you continuously look in the rearview mirror while you're going forward, you're going to get in an accident. And the victim of that accident is going to be you," she says.

Suze says, "When you are grateful--when you can see what you have--you unlock blessings to flow in your life." This is the law of attraction at work here.

Just Dance

Oh man I miss these days.
I'm going to have to dig up some video of the boy and the girl dancing to Ricky Martin.

say what you need to say

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open

SAY Something

so song for the day should be a daily post but it doesn't always happen.
but the thought is what is that song running through your head?
I've always had a dream,
you know that soundtrack that runs through your head
that makes your dramatic moments all
Ta DA
and all your sad moments
boo hoo
with a sound track and beautiful pictures ?????
say what you need to say
that is the sound track for our day
and I hope our loved ones find themselves
in that place
ABLE
to
say
what you
NEED
to say.

Lyrics and video:



Take all of your wasted honor
Every little past frustration
Take all of your so-called problems
Better put them in quotations

Say what you need to say (8x)

Walking like a one man army
Fighting with the shadows in your head
Living out the same old moment
Knowing you’d be better off instead
If you could only

Say what you need to say (8x)

Have no fear for giving in
Have no fear for giving over
You better know that in the end
It’s better to say too much
Than never to say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open

Say what you need to say

Show Week

Last week was show week for Children's Theatre of Oahu, the show was Sleeping Beauty. They sold out all six shows!!! Look at this good looking cast:

My First Green Flash

March 29th 2009, the anniversary of my Mother's death. The year my Mother died we had fourty straight days of rain, on her last day one of her last lucid moments was when the sun was setting she looked over at me and said "when did you get here?"