Plan For The Day

TGIS

Thank God It's Saturday.
I think a little beach is in order.

I haven't been writing because I've been eating this:























and drinking this




















reading this:


























PRAYING FOR GRACE





























doing this:



























So I don't have to go to jail for triple homicide!!!

Soundtrack IN My Head

Tori Amos 1000 Oceans

Lyrics | Tori Amos lyrics

Once

Here's the audio from my soundtrack of the day from yesterday.
It's a great movie.

Lyrics:
Falling Slowly


I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You've made it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along

Playing With Fire

We live dangerously here:

AAACCKKK!!!!

MORPHORIFIC!!!!

Change Is On The Way

Funny Cadbury Commercial

America's Song

Shoulders to Stand On

talk of standing on shoulders...
people who have recently made me taller....
C who held my hand at the pivotal moment when my life came to a cross road
when the mirror said yeah it's not what you thought
it was
you validated me you said what you're feeling is true and right
and we had a new language of friendship
and love
and sisterhood

N who really was my sounding board, my therapist, my absolute friend through the years of
mother daughter life and death and life and lots of craziness
you were there in the truly dark hours and I will never forget that

L who came in and swooped me up gave me love and caring and empathy
and forged a bond of trust
we shared our stories of parental loss
and forgiveness
and heart ache and
working on moving on

and L with her constant optimism,
there is always a bright side in the now
yet also sharing times of struggle to let me know I'm not alone
to be vulnerable
to open your heart
and to grow

Thank you
and you are just
the shoulders I have stood on in the last 10 years
thank you
for making me stronger.

Falling Slowly

Haunting....
Soundtrack for the day.....

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along

Another Difficult Day

Do you ever have songs from the past just pop into your head,
a sound track for your day?
Here's mine.


Theme song for the day-

When I was younger, so much younger than today
I never needed anybody's help in any way
But now these days are gone
I'm not so self assured
Now I find I've changed my mind
I've opened up the doors

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being 'round
Help me get my feet back on the ground
Won't you please, please help me

And now my life hand changed in oh, so many ways
My independence seems to vanish in the haze
But every now and then I feel so insecure
I know that I just need you like
I've never done before

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being 'round
Help me get my feet back on the ground
Won't you please, please help me

When I was younger, so much younger than today
I never needed anybody's help in any way
But now these days are gone
I'm not so self assured
Now I find I've changed my mind
I've opened up the doors

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being 'round
Help me get my feet back on the ground
Won't you please, please help me, me, me, Ooooo

Lost

Sometimes my husband and I watch television and I say the lines that are coming before the character does.
He is always quite impressed.
Me not so much.
Here's a line from Lost that I could not have written but wish I did:
Ben to Locke:
You'll understand soon enough that there are consequences to being chosen.
Because destiny,
John,
Is
A
Fickle
Bitch.

Sunset

The sun is setting on my fourty fourth year.
I'm feeling a bit melancholy.
I guess at a certain age you start to think-, what am I meant to do, what is my gift to the universe
Maybe it's all this talk of "legacies" , "W's" and Barack's
So I ask myself:
Am I living , getting the most out of life
Am I paying attention to what is most important
Or letting other people dictate that
Am I true to myself
Am I taking care of the ONE body I get in this life
Am I doing right by my loved ones
Am I better, wiser, kinder than a decade ago
Can I open my eyes in the morning and first say
Thank You
Not
What is on the "to do list"
I'm working on it, progress report at a later date.

My Capricorn Sister

Michelle Obama turned 45 on January 17th
I turn 45 January 19th
her resume:
A native of Chicago's predominantly black south side, Michelle Obama always has been a creature of discipline, decorum and determination. Her résumé is as impressive as her husband's. She is a 1985 cum laude graduate of Princeton University, a 1988 graduate of Harvard Law School, a former associate dean at the University of Chicago, and currently a vice president at the University of Chicago Hospitals. Michelle Obama sits on six boards, including the prestigious Chicago Council on Global Affairs, the University of Chicago Laboratory Schools and Tree House Foods.


my resume:
An Air Force Brat Lisa has not always had 'discipline" in her vocabulary. Her resume' stops around 1993. She is a ( nothing cum laude) 3.0 graduate of Drexel University. She always despised being a student and could not wait to make money. From the time she could play with paper dolls ( because you can change their clothes a lot and Barbies are just WRONG) she knew she wanted to be a buyer. Her professional life took off rather quickly and she was a buyer with responsibility for 15 million in sales at the age of 27. But then love walked in . First comes love, then comes a boy in the baby carriage. The love as a first time Mom was like nothing she had ever experienced. She convinced her husband that it would cost more for her to work than to stay home. She took an oath of poverty, promised they could survive on home made pasta, and home grown tomatoes and love. The boy was followed by a girl and now she had a new title, professional breast feeder. ( something she was once repulsed by) . Breast feeding is one of her proudest accomplishments because she credits it for her children's extraordinary intelligence and good health. When it came time for the boy to go to pre-school she said " hell to the no" and the rest is history. The boy had his first day of school at age thirteen, the girl not yet. Another major accomplishment is cross country moving. In a period of eleven years Lisa has prepared( packed , unpacked, packed, unpacked, sold house, bought house, sold house , bought house) the family to move from one coast to the other and into the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Also notable is her four year job as a cancer care giver. She credits this with the time she learned the most about life, love, friendships.
Her major responsibilities, in her current job are: dish washer, teacher, launderer, professional chauffeur, coach, life coach, counselor, chef, nutritionist, allergy specialist, spiritual apprentice, dog walker, dog whisper, wife , counselor, love. Her new project is figuring out what she wants to be when she "grows up the second time."


I look at Michelle Obama's "on paper resume'" and feel so inadequate
her accomplishments are major
mine not so much on paper
She seems to have managed a demanding career and family quite well
I came to a cross road and chose family as the ultimate priority
I don't regret it but when I see a woman like Michelle I feel like I should be doing more
accomplishing more
my children have teenage bipolar disorder
love you one day
hate you the next
its hard
I fear that my job review
which I won't receive for quite some time
10, 20 years from now when they have their life and relationships in progress
will be marginal
what if I've made mistakes that they will take with them into their adult lives
what if they don't come visit
or maybe the opposite
what if they never leave
parenting is hard, hard work
but Nothing compared to what Barack and Michelle Obama face for the next four years
So maybe I don't have it so bad
I have three people to worry about every day
they have millions

Big Surf

the ocean is angry today
it reminds us that it is powerful and in control
stand back or I will consume you
even though far away it's mist still touches the skin
it hypnotizes
unable to look away
in a trance
the rhythm of the soul
just listen

Hydro Rejuvination

I am an anxious flyer.



It didn't use to be this way.
My Dad was in the Air Force and we flew a lot,
I was a buyer and I flew a lot in and out of dangerous airports, like the ones with "WARNINGS"
and I was always ok.
I traveled to Hong Kong, Taiwain, Singapore, Sri Lanka in a time span of 10 days.
and we were detained ,
our passports taken at machine -gun- point.
I have to tell this story again because it's my last cool story
B 444444 I became a Mommy.
Yeah and then there was the flight to Florida after my Dad died where we were seated for the entire 4 hour flight, and the flight attendants were praying behind me. I can totally relate to those people that were getting a little hydro-reguvenation in the Hudson river today.
I Digress as usual......


so the husband is traveling to the east coast today
delayed,
checking his flight on line
plane in the Hudson River, WHAT AIR LINE????
Husband calls just then to say he was there, SAFE, didn't even know about craziness, blissful ignorance as usual. Love YOU.


I wonder,
is there a moment when the universe opens up and one tragedy
or one miracle falls out
and then the universe zips up and we are all good for
tragedies
or miracles for a while.
I would like to know




because my husband ( I know I'm being dramatic)
and 155 people that were part of a.....
pause.....
miracle? still have to get somewhere

155 people were ,
in the presence of a VERY Present person
some One who had a VISION
go here
put it down lightly
if you ditch it
People will come

Sully, I Don't know you
But I love you,
You give me faith in humanity, integrity,responsibility.
and for today, miracles.
grab on to that moment
pay attention to who is next to you
and love your family, in every waking moment.

Rubik's Cube Record

It took Graham Parker 26 years to finally solve the Rubik's Cube he bought back in 1983. If you can't tell by the picture, he's really proud of himself.
'I cannot tell you what a relief it was to finally solve it,' the 45-year-old from Portchester, Hampshire, said. 'It has driven me mad over the years - it felt like it had taken over my life.

'I have missed important events to stay in and solve it and I would lie awake at night thinking about it.

'I have had wrist and back problems from spending hours on it but it was all worth it. When I clicked that last bit into place and each face was a solid colour, I wept.'





PARDUBICE, Czech Republic-- Erik Akkersdijk, 18, solved a standard 3x3x3 Rubik's Cube in 7.08 seconds at the Czech Open, setting the world record for the Fastest time for solving the Rubik's Cube.


So I have to confess when I first came across this I wanted to label it ....
Dumbshit and Brilliant.
But then I realized I would be in the former category,
So my new commentary is...
As long as you solve a problem it's all good.

Thoughts on Barack

Alan Schroeder, professor of journalism, Northeastern University :
America occupies a unique psychological space internationally, particularly among foreigners who have traveled and lived here. As one of my European colleagues put it, the election of Barack Obama “shows again at the end of the day there is something fundamentally right in the U.S., something we’d been doubting for some time.”

Nations are not always granted the opportunity to rebrand themselves. Today, the USA stands proud, redeemed in the eyes of the world.









Diane Ravitch, education historian, NYU, Hoover Institution and Brookings Institution
I have been thinking about the improbability of the Obama victory. Not because of his race, about which enough has been said, but because of the scope of his accomplishment. This is a man who was virtually unknown until four years ago. This is a man with no powerful family connections, no deep regional base, no discernible organization other than the one he created. He managed somehow to create an effective political operation and raise hundreds of millions of dollars to advance his pursuit of the presidency. His is a very American story, in that he is virtually — perhaps entirely — self-made.

ERIC LIU, author and former Clinton White House adviser :

On one level, it doesn’t quite seem real. On another level, listening to him speak, it seems like Barack Obama has already been president for some time. We were ready for this. Now it’s up to us, and not just him, to make good on the promise of change.

Molly Moore, senior VP, Sanderson Strategies, former Washington Post correspondent

As I stepped out of my house to take my 8-year-old son to school on Election Day, I told him, “Benny, this is a new day in America.” He didn’t miss a beat and replied, “Yeah, smell that fresh Obama air!”

HELP! HORMONES ARE HERE!!!!

Pheww it's been a "challenging " last few days. I use challenging because of my training from my corporate days. Instead of saying WTF????? .
you say with a calm demeanor,
and smile,
I welcome the challenges ,
they are an opportunity for growth.
great training for my stay at home life.
but i don't get any bonuses for managing personnel..

HEAD Lines

What financial collapse, unemployment and PTSD have in common..



Sony To Post $1.1 Billion Loss
The company had been counting on strong holiday sales in U.S. and Europe, but consumers have been spending less

GM Expects To Lose 500 US Dealerships


Bernie Madoff Escapes Jail, Judge Declines To Revoke Bail


How Porsche Hacked The Financial System And Made A Killing

It's Official: Bush Presided Over Weakest Economy in Decades

The Revolving Door: Most Of Bush's Ex-Cabinet Officials Work For Companies That Lobby Their Former Agencies


MADOFF BLISTERED HIS SISTER
SCAMMED FOR '$3M'


For BlackBerry, Obama’s Devotion Is Priceless


List of Macy's Store Closings

DEAD TREES DEATH MATCH

New York Times Fires Back At Atlantic
Over Controversial Article


10-Year-Old Reporter Damon Weaver Gets His Credentials


"Insulted," "Embarrassed" By Bush, Obama "Policy Dork," MSNBC Compared To Munster Family


Financial Journalists Say Media Dropped Ball On Crisis


Rice shame-faced by Bush over UN Gaza vote: Olmert


Bush Describes Bailout Decisions As 'Difficult' When He Means 'Irresponsible'


Obama Closing Guantanamo: Preparing Order In First Week


CRAZY TIMES WE ARE LIVING THROUGH.

Goals

Not resolutions, goals:
Inner Peace and Balance
I read Ekhart Tole's A New Earth a few months back and I was in a really good place. My family and friends noticed it , my son even commented , when I tried to show him a new perspective , " I am philosophically against spiritual enlightenment."
I had a realization, "oh that's why it's called spiritual practice ." Because it takes a lot of practice. So my goal is to take time at the beginning of every day to read something that is helpful to me in my 'spiritual practice"

Forgiveness
most importantly towards myself.
I think I am forgiving except, towards my self. That's bad.
I want to stop the relentless, unforgiving dialogue that makes a figure eight in my mind.

Detox toxic relationships
I can be a people pleaser
Some relationships are purely dependant on the effort I put into them.
Is that right? It's kind of sad to stop putting all the effort into a relationship and watch it die.
One thing I know for sure, I'm not interested in a relationship that always leaves me feeling, sad or depleted.

Work on What Matters
My Health- get over that Irish fatalistic thing and get more diagnostic tests, be a role model for my kids in that respect. Get back into the exercise zone . You don't have to want to do it you just have to do it. I've fallen of the wagon , broke my leg and got dragged behind the wagon, due to an injury. BUT , I still remember how good it feels to be on the wagon .. so for now I might be chasing the wagon, but I will get back ON.
My Family-most importantly, be present, listen, look, hear, love, hug, affirm.
My Relationships- nurture, cultivate, listen, look, hear, offer to help, love, hug, affirm.
My Pets- run, run, run, play, love.

Most importantly sit back breathe and say THANK YOU everyday.

2.6 Million Jobs Lost In 2008

From Jamie Malanowski on Huffington Post:

Here's a few people that deserve to be looking for a job.....

Dear Mr. Cheney:

Thank you for your recent letter inquiry about a position with the Gallup organization. As one of the nation's leading polling firms, we are always on the lookout for individuals with talent and experience, and your resume is outstanding. Moreover, you have correctly observed that the reluctance of people to take our surveys is a sizable factor in the cost of our services. However, we have concluded that classifying these people as ``enemy respondents,'' taking them into custody, and flying them to undisclosed locations for a program of enhanced interrogation is unlikely to result in meaningful savings, and as such we do not see sufficient benefit in retaining you to manage such a program at this time. Please be advised that we will keep your resume on file.

Sincerely yours,


Dear Mr. President:

Mr. Bruckheimer is in receipt of your proposal, but because he is stuck in casting his new series C.S.I. Wasilla', he asked me to respond. He wanted me to tell you that he likes the idea of a game show, that he likes the idea of calling it The Decider, and that he likes the format where contestants present you their problems, and you in turn give them answers that will leave them more prosperous, more highly respected, and better able to face the future. His only question is: do you have any experience?

Sincerely yours,

Love in times of trouble

so the back thing has me introspective
when your body goes all Linda Blair on you
you should listen
right?
so the sweetest things... happened
my daughter made me a super dooper long straw
because I was so put out
lifting my head was akin to
pushing the baby out.
I'll let you think about that for a while
because it is REAL.
so she put two straws together OMG
a patent or an honorary patent was warranted
and the boy's sweetest act was to bring me biscuits with honey
maybe they really do love me

He Shhots, He Scores!!!

cruising channels,
sense memory
HOCKEY
I don't follow it but every now and then I come across it and it doesn't matter who is playing
I am drawn in
sense memory
the music
the Zamboni
the food
the announcer
the penalty box
Oh Hockey how I miss you in Hawaii
even though it has changed I'm still moving to the beat
I see the rink and even though i live in Hawaii I feel cold
I get caught up in the game
I remember the excitement
my sister and I use to listen to
RECORDINGS can you believe it? that was how desperate or how crazy FANS WE we were we just couldn't wait to hear
HE SHOOTS HE SCORES
OR
SHOT ON GOAL
I recently watched a game with my son that ended in a shoot out
I was conflicted
because back in the day there were not shoot outs
but the boy was watching
I was sharing stories about growing up with hockey
he was into the game
so it's all good
grandpa would be proud

Face Lift

Why are the ads on my blog talking about face lifts ???
OMG it's reading my mind.
Ooh I might be able to have some fun with this.

everybody talks back

No pun intended
My body has been talking back to me, why not everyone else in my house does?
It said
Lie down shut up and don't move!!!!
For two days all I could do is look at all the dog hair on the rug and think about everything I should be doing.
I didn't take it lightly, I kept trying to get up
but if I wanted to breathe I had to stay horizontal
I tried to get up again and body
said, now you stay right there and don't move until I see you've learned your lesson
Surrender
muscle relaxers and pain medicine
drug induced hazey sleep
and dogs that are scratching and chewing up an orchestra just to torture me a little more while I lie there drooling.
today a shower
I appreciate the little things
maybe I wont go for the dreads (on my head) after all

I'm Starting To Think Like An Old Geezer

music and pining
the boy is so frustrated because he wants a song and he can't find it or down load it.
enter old geezer, me
just kind of laughing in a complete old geezer way

you are so lucky
when I was a girl my whole motivation for baby sitting was music

I would baby sit all night and take my four dollars and run the next day to the store and buy a new album
my heart would literally race as I ran home
could not wait to put the album on the turntable
and then I would listen over and over
so I could get the lyrics down
they didn't have them with the music in those days
so I would play a part and write it down
and play it again and write it down
until I had the whole song and I could sing along
belt it out with the speakers on either side of my head
so I couldn't hear my less than perfect voice
but at the same time I felt like I was a rock star
on stage performing


oops so yeah back to the I can't find that song right now
sorry
can't relate


so more on technology and how it has changed being separated from a loved one
when it comes to being separated from someone you love
I remember being separated from a boyfriend
he went to college after a summer of
Love
Fun
Bliss,
Everything it's meant to be at a certain age
I missed him terribly,
it hurt,
physically hurt
and every day I waited for the MAIL to come
seems so 100 YEARS OLD now, really.
I waited, I pined for a letter and when it came I read it over and over
and I wrote back pen and paper, page after page.
I sealed it with a kiss and waited again

here's the funny thing
the boy,
who has been trained well,
said, do we have any paper?
I want to write my g friend a love letter
here's the sweet part:

they have been
texting
Im ing
web chat
plain old talking on the phone for hours


and he still wants to write her an old fashion welcome
home
love letter
priceless.