A Lot To Be Thankful For

Here is what we were doing while the turkey was cooking. Lucky we live Hawaii.

grounding your kid is exhausting

"That's it give me your sidekick", she handed it over rather quickly which left me suspicious.
A few minutes later I go in to check on her only to find her talking on her old phone. She had taken the sim card out of the sidekick and put it in her old phone.
" Now you have no TV you knew I meant no phone not just no sidekick. "
She is in her room quietly working on her laptop, yeah or so I thought , only to find out she is watching TV on her computer.
"No computer, TV or cell phone. "
Shortly after this I hear her talking to someone, please let it be the dog , what else have I forgotten ?
The home phone!
"No talking on any phone or via any means of communication, no Skype, no ichat no talking!
No TV, no video, no TV on computer, no watching outside someone's mini van while their kids watch a video inside.
Do your homework, and for dinner you can have the crumbs still on your floor since you did not vacuum.
Have I covered it all?"

Pink Tu Tu

The ocean soothes me....

This tree reminds me of pink Tu Tus..

What You Talkin Bout Willis?

Teddy at his finest:

Food what food?

Humor For The Day

Just getting my Christmas wish list together. The " I love not camping" key chain or flask.

Camping is the new "C" word.

This Is Cute

OOHHH I want to have fun with photo booth like this, great song too.

On Being Vulnerable

"We connect through our vulnerabilities more deeply than through our strengths."
I find this to be so true, here are a few instances that come to mind. When I was first dating my husband I was blinded by love and somehow he convinced me that white water rafting, on class five rapids, in the snow, was a good idea. I grew a lot as a person that day, I trusted my life to a man named Rob, he was our guide. We were the lead raft so the first to go through every rapid. I remember there were a few rapids that were so steep you couldn't see where they ended. I loved Rob at the end of that day for giving me the thrill of a lifetime and keeping me out of the freezing water. I still remember the advice he gave if anyone went in the river (and two rafts did) "breathe when you can."

Another time being vulnerable made me instantly close to someone: when the anesthesiologist gave me my epidural. I couldn't catch my breath between contractions , I was in excruciating pain, and he said "don't move. " That was one of the hardest things I'd ever had to do but boy did I love him once it was over.

I was definitely vulnerable while caring for my Mother during her fight with inflammatory breast cancer. I couldn't do it all , I couldn't deal with it all . My friends were awesome, they got me through that time they did more than my siblings were willing or able to do. I'll never forget them for that, and I hope to return the favor some day.
Last thought on this: if I know this is true, why is it so hard to put yourself out there, to be vulnerable? I guess the answer is trust it takes trust to be vulnerable and it's hard to ask for what you need and it's hard when you ask and people aren't there for you.

The ironic thing is one of the qualities I admire most in someone is when they are real , honest, they don't hide behind a facade of being perfect. We are all imperfect, especially as parents.

Bad Review

I gave up a well paying job so long ago that I feel like I can't even talk about it anymore,that it's irrelevant 15 years later. But the truth is I would be thrilled to make that salary today,15 years later. I take my job as a mom seriously and it really sucks to go to bed feeling like I've failed on all accounts, teacher, Mom , Wife.

23 and me

23 and Me is a company started by two women with the help of Google start up money.
Their product allows you to purchase a kit for $399 ( price was recently reduced from $1000) and do an in home test which tells you things that you are genetically pre disposed to. Previously, if I wanted to get tested for the breast cancer gene I would have to pay $1800 now I have another option. The results for some things are research based ( not enough clinical studies to be absolutely conclusive) but for me some information to start with might be worth it. Click on the 23 and Me title and it will link you to a post by someone who bought the test.

CrunchBase Information

23andMe

Information provided by CrunchBase

Puppy Love

Now that we're getting to know each other and maybe like each other I thought I'd introduce you to some important people (oops I mean pets) in my life.  My replacement kids and keepers of the present, Buddy (the white one) and Teddy ( the brown one).  More on their personalities later for now just look at how beautiful they are. 

Not My Proudest Day As A Catholic

Oh the Catholic church how you confuse me.... I have had an on again off again relationship with you and if it weren't for the liberal Jesuits we have taken to visiting on most Sundays I think I might have to break up with you because this is too much. ( luckily our Pastor told us to vote our conscience ..wink ..wink .. vote for Obama if you so choose).

A South Carolina Roman catholic Priest has told his parishioners that they should refrain from receiving Holy Communion if they voted for Barack Obama because the Democratic President-elect supports abortion, and supporting him "constitutes material cooperation with intrinsic evil."

"Voting for a pro-abortion politician when a plausible pro-life alternative exists constitutes material cooperation with intrinsic evil, and those catholics who do so place themselves out side of the full communion of Christ's Church and under the judgment of divine law.  Persons in this condition should not receive Holy Communion until and unless they are reconciled to 

God in the Sacrament of Penance, lest they eat and drink their own condemnation."

AHEM, I am a person in "that condition" and I will receive communion because I believe divine law states that judgement is left up to God.  I believe our God is better that that, that our God would want hope, change and an end to death from war.  Oh, and my husband is a man in "that condition" and he is a Eucharistic minister and will gladly give the blood of Christ, this Sunday to others in "that condition"

So there.

Cool Science-Meet Maja

This is Maja, named after the Roman fertility Goddess,

 the first baby to be conceived after an ovarian transplant.  Susanne Butscher, a 39 year old woman who went into early menopause, received an ovary from her twin sister and conceived a year later. What a great day for science , offering hope to woman who are infertile or have lost their fertility to chemotherapy.  This pioneering procedure could offer hope to women under going chemo or radiation and offer the possibility of freezing the an ovary for transplant after treatment. "When I saw her for the first time I just cried" said Mrs. Butscher.  "You can't really put into words that feeling when you see your daughter for the first time."  Mr. Butscher, 40 said: "I don't think anyone has invented the right words to describe what if feels like to become a father."

I Say Amen To That.

So About That Biopsy

I woke up today feeling o.k. ready to get information.   As I drove closer to the doctor's office my stomach was yelling  hello you're not o.k you're scared!!  Point taken.

 

 I ride the elevator and breathe deeply.  Sign in at the office a sweet face says hello Lisa.  I'm like- you know who I am?

 Does that mean you know more than I do and you feel bad for me?  breathe.... go for People magazine, reading celebrity gossip always takes YOUR  mind off of things , look at all those cute celebbabies.

An article about Julianne Hough and her endomitriosis,  the uterine lining growing outside of her uterus attached to other organs ouch , but hey it beats cancer I'll take it.  

Then of course  I come upon the cancer article  don't read it don't read it...

 Thankfully just about that time my name was called I had the weigh in (oh please not again the third time in three weeks, how do I gain three pounds just by turning the ignition and driving on the freeway?)  go into the examining room and wait more. 

Cruel and unusual punishment when we are talking about the "c" word.......... read more People magazine .... Dr. walks in smiling ..o.k that's good ..."good news it's normal."

O.k. so I have an abnormal uterus with normal cells .... I'll take it , I think. but where  do I go from here?

My ovaries are different size, but within normal range, that pain keep an eye on it , go get the colonoscopy and if your symptoms continue, we will re evaluate.

 So here is the tricky thing about  ovarian cancer the symptoms are benign- most women experience them at one time or another .  Bloating, constipation, followed by diarrhea, back ache.  I say to my Doctor " but the symptoms are so benign how often do I sound the alarm?"   She says 'I know I wish there was a better test but that's all we have for now."  

Well that sucks but for today there is a really good chance 95% ( diagnostically) that I Don't have ovarian or uterine cancer. O.K I'LL TAKE THAT!

Lucky We Live Hawaii

"Lucky We Live Hawaii" is a saying people here use to remind us that even though it is expensive to live here it is worth every penny and then some.  Here are some lucky we live Hawaii pictures for you:

I Hit the Trifecta!!

Not the make you rich kind of trifecta....

Mammography, Biopsy, Colonoscopy, oh my!

Let me back up.. At my yearly "female" exam I told my doctor about some symptoms I'd been having and she thought it would be wise to have a pelvic ultrasound, which led to uterine biopsy and colonoscopy and I threw in mammography for good measure.  Might as well go for as many cancer screenings as you can in one month right?

See I have a bit of a history of cancer in my family, inflammatory breast cancer, breast cancer, lung cancer, colon cancer and if that doesn't get you there is always a good old heart attack just as you're finishing a great meal.  Yeah so I know what those women mean, who choose to have prophylactic masectomy, when they say "I'd rather lose my breast than my mind."

Tomorrow I go to get results on the biopsy, wish me luck.

Palin Hoping to be Named Ambassador to Africa

This is too funny, head on over to Huffington Post and read Andy Borowitz.

"I have always been very, very interested in the nation of Africa, partly because of it being where it is," she said.  "If you are standing in Africa and you look real close, you can see south Africa."

RENT

So the 36 hour boy was in Rent tonight, proud beyond words more on that later... but here are the songs swimming through my head...

How we gonna paaaay,

How we gonna paaaay, last years rent this years rent? 

Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes how do you measure a year in the life how about loooouuuve, loooouuve....

Living in America, at the edge of the Milenia you're what you own !!!

Will I lose my dignity... will someone caaaare will I wake tomorrow from this nightmare?

 It's time now.. to sing out.. though the story never ends.. celebrate, remember, a year in the life of friends.

How about love?

I have always wished that life came with a soundtrack, like in the movies when that poignant , or heartbreaking moment was so perfect because of the music in the background.  Tonight I had that background music and it was perfect.  Love you 36 hour boy!!!!

What You See Is What You Get

Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.

Obama's official photographer has posted some candids from election night on Flickr.  I can't imagine what it must have felt like to be anyone connected with Obama on that night.

Yes He Did!

Hawaii and the rest of the world breathe a sigh of relief. I had to put this video up because it makes me happy and it gives me hope that we can recover from the mess of the last eight years. I was humming it in my head as I waited two hours to vote and I can't help but thinking Obama's Tutu and Mom are drifting somewhere in time humming it too.

The best thing heard on election day- a volunteer says to a young woman "thank you for your patience" and the woman responds with "I've been waiting for eight years, two hours in nothing."

The worst thing heard on election day proposition eight legalizing discrimination passes, along with other bans on same sex marriage. Also Arkansas' ban on adoption and foster care for unmarried couples. How can we put an African American man in the White House and turn around and discriminate against 20% of the population? How can 70% of African American voters vote for proposition eight when they have been fighting against discrimination for so long? Why is it that the young people of America are more accepting? At least their future is looking brighter. There is still a lot of work to be done to create a world where all people feel safe, where all people are valued for what they bring to the day and not for how they look , who they do or don't worship, and who makes them happy at the end of the day.

What Now?

I don't know if it is the economic crisis, a recent health scare or the fact that my son, the 36 hour boy, is a sophomore in high school , but I have been thinking a lot lately what now?  I haven't worked full time in almost fourteen years.  I wouldn't, couldn't go back to being a buyer so what WILL I do when I have to grow up for the second time? I've got time to figure it out so maybe writing about what I find interesting, what my life is like now will help me figure that out.  I've been poking around looking on Craigslist, Hawaii Jobs on Demand etc.. and it is demoralizing to realize that I could do data  entry for $15  a hour.  Heck I pay my daughter, the 12 hour girl, that much to do laundry for me.  

I have always said that I am the retirement plan in our marriage.  My husband is older than me, and he was silly enough to agree all those years ago to my quiting my job to be home with the kids, cutting our income in half.  So when he is ready to retire , off I go to work while he gets to stay home, sleep late, read blogs, watch YouTube, and not do laundry like I have been doing all these years. Only kidding about that, I haven't been watching YouTube all these years. It's a scary prospect combined with the fact that our retirement accounts have tanked to who-knows-what because we can't even bear to look not  even with one eyeball.  The one thing I have going for me is I live in Hawaii a beautiful place where it is warm all year.  So my fall back plan is to buy another tent ( because we would need his and her tents for sure), and live on the beach, plenty of people do it. As they say here, we could live off the aina (land), fish, get fruit from the fruit trees in the mountains , hunt for boars, raise chickens and live in our bathing suits.  Plenty of people's situations are bleak compared to that right?  Off to YouTube I go, I hear Britney and Justin performed with Madonna last night.