I'm feeling Grinchy about Christmas

So I always start out wanting Christmas to be minimal,practical....
and then at the last moment I get cought up in the,
opening presents is fun,
it's your right, movement.
And I SHOP and PUT TOO MUCH MONEY ON THE CREDIT CARD.

I think part of this may come from my Father .




I remember him always shopping at the last minute.
Christmas Eve-- he always bought my Mom beautiful, expensive, tasteful, clothes. He had them wrapped at the department store gift wrapping place.
The packages looked exquisite and I remember being proud behind him, as we marched into the house.
The" look what I got you parade, phew he pulled it off again parade."
Oh and there was usually the last minute gratuitous jewelery purchase.
My Mom had more than she could ever wear in a year.
Wait I digress here...
As a young girl I oogled it , really. I used to go through her jewelery box which was majorly off limits.
As a child I was not allowed in my parents bedroom.
PERIOD THE END!!
So it was a stealth mission to go check out Mom's jewelery,
OH, I coveted it. Maybe I saw that powerful love token of jewelery that my Father offered up on all the big occasions and I wanted some token of love from him too, one that had the urgency that I witnessed every Christmas Eve.

Something about the way my Father shopped at Christmas seems so chivalrous and old school to me and yet it is really endearing. Maybe I can look back at those times now , now that my parents are both partying in heaven, and see them more purely.
A pure expression of love , maybe an imperfect love, a love they both understood, but I didn't always understand . But now, hmm...... it makes a little more sense to me , I can see that was how they loved each other and it was just right for them.